Thursday, January 28, 2010


I recently celebrated my birthday. I had a really wonderful day. It also made my think of MY HOUSE. My house is FULL of Drama, Problems, Love, Laughter, Confusion, Hate, Jealousy and sooo much more. Let me explain....

In 2001, I purchased a duplex. At the time, it was a very good idea. I would move my mom in with me, since she was close to retirement (not to mention, I depended on her to be my live in babysitter) and Man-child and I would live upstairs. My Mom also cares for her brother, Uncle Mike, who is disabled. Simple, you would think - I did not factor in that EVERYONE comes to Grandma's house - ALL THE TIME. Since everyone comes to Grandma's house, there is always something going on. Everyone ASSUMES that they can spend over whenever they feel like it, move in, eat, do their laundry, or drop off their kids. Like most Grandmas, my Mom is there with welcoming arms.

At Grandma's house you will find, my neice Latrice and her three kids (Mykia, Jayden and MacKenzie) Grandma babysits while she works; Shanika with her daughter Mekhia (who is always between jobs and boyfriends but she always has money for her weave); Nephews Eddie and Dominique - both in high school and full of drama; and two of my brothers, Dennis and Sam, who both refuse to find "real" jobs (they just like to make up side jobs and work at will in between jail time); My other brother and the Texas Chain Gang moved back to Texas (I've shared that story in the past) and they call at least twice a week to say nothing. Everyone is jealous of one another, talks about each other and drives Aunt Pumpkin crazy in the midst of it all (by the way, I am Aunt Pumpkin)

In the past two years, I noticed that I have been given the title of "Bank of America". One of the pitfalls of being the oldest and only girl in the family. I just look at them all and say "I'll help with what I can and no more". At times, I have over extended my self (Lesson learned when the Texas chain Gang moved in) but then that evil "Project girl" comes out and everyone backs off. And where is Man-child - in the second floor apartment on his computer thinking of other ways to drive me crazy.

As I celebrated my birthday and I laughed at the presents I received from the kids, bubble gum bubble bath, coupons to Chucke Cheese, tickets to Disney on Ice, a gift card from Borders and another pair of slippers from Man-child, I realized that MY HOUSE is crazy and stressful, and at times, unbearable - but it is MY HOUSE. Keep us All in Prayer.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Lesson I Learned From A Cheerios Commerical

Today is January 14th. 2010 has started with tragedy. In Baltimore, Mayor Sheila Dixon has resigned, Teddy Pendergrass has passed and a 7.0 earth quake has destroyed Haiti. UNBELIEVEABLE

As the TV watched me, I was thinking of everything that has happened thus far and of everything that happened last year. I still don't know how I survived it all, emotionally or financially. But, I silently THANK THE CREATOR for providing me with strength, courage and friends who pushed me through it all. Then, this Cheerios commerical came on. It was a woman looking at herself in the mirror and the announcer said something like "instead of making changes to the outside of your body, why not start with the inside". "WOW" How many people really heard that.

Just as the commerical went off, Man-child walked into the room, pants hanging, one sock on and my Christmas slippers(he bought them for me but he has been wearing them since I opened the box) and his computer in hand. I SMILED :-) We have survived a lot - dirty room, going bald, bad grades, no graduation, counseling, the relatives from Hell, my long work days, cancelled vacation, and so much more. I thought I spent the entire year trying to change him but how many times have I looked inside. He is OK. I remembered promising to raise a God fearing man. And he is.

I never make New Year Resolutions because I always forget them after the first few days. Instead, I set three goals - First, become more health conscious. I did... lost 10 lbs and I am ok with it.. It's less and I've learned to give up, cut back and exercise more. Second, I became a Blogger. I am still amazed at the number of followers and supporters I've received. Thanks to Everyone. Last, I vowed to make Man-child more responsible - through thick and thin. I never took the time to look inside and see who he really was/is. He is, thus far, a respectable, fun, caring, lazy young man. He is a teen-ager, who is still learning.

All in all, I am looking forward to the things he will get into and I PRAY that I will have the strength and wisdom to guide him. I also Pray that I do not hurt him and have to reach out for bail money from friends. This year's goals -only one - RELAX, LISTEN and LOOK INSIDE MORE. I am really starting to like what I created.

Saturday, January 2, 2010


The New Year has started and I am looking forward to change and new beginnings and adventures. Before any of that can take place, I had to accept a few things. First, I am ok and I love who I am. Second, I can't and will not try to save, help, or rescue everyone (they have to learn to first help themselves) and Finally, Man-child is who he is and he is growing to be a something. The final product is still in the making.

As I prepared to end my vacation (which wasn't very relaxing), I told Man-child that he needed to find his backpack, uniforms and deorderant so that he will be ready for school. When I went in his room, I was hit with his mess. Stuff everywhere. I've talked about how I've found several sets of sheets on the bed (I wasn't clear when I said take the dirty ones off and put on clean ones), and the pillow case with sandwiches in glad bags or teh night table that was used as the hamper. Well, not much has changed.

He said "Mommy, I like my room the way it is .. It can't be clean all the time and I can find stuff". Standing with my hand on my hips I calmly stated "but all of your clothes on on the floor. How can you tell what is clean or dirty? Plus most of this stuff looks like it hasn't been washed at all". He said "that's cause you are not me - I promise when I move out I'll clean my room".

I thought about what he said for a long time. He is RIGHT. Why am I trying to make him clean his room.... ACCEPT IT. Most kids at this age are simple sloppy pigs. As long as he is ok with it, and it doesn't create bugs or rodents in my house, Accept it. I have vowed that I will enter his room only on a "need to" bases and he promises to keep his mess in his room only. The minute I see or think I see a bug or creature of ANY KIND the exterminators will be called and he has to keep the room the way I SAY.