I was sooo excited about Man-child's summer job. He was hired to work with B. Green Caterers, a division of Martin's West. He was not excited. The first day of work, I decided to drive him. He jumped out of the car and he was off to work. As always, I was nervous all day. True to form, he made it home - said it was a'ight and nothing more.
Two days later, I received a call from his principal. Man-child scored relatively high on the city's standardized test and he was selected to participate in an Honors Program through Johns Hopkins University. WHAT!!! My mouth dropped. Of course he is going to participate. Then, I thought - DAYUMMM - I just gave him that speech on following through and not quitting. You know the one "it's important to finish what you start" and "once you commit to something, keep your word". I also wanted him to learn the value of earning money and the value of money. This was a difficult decision but no matter what, I knew I wanted him in that program. I asked my Sistah Friends and they all agreed - send him to Hopkins.
I was prepared to take him to dinner to discuss it but he decided to buy dinner on his way home from work. (That is sooo my son) After I told him about the program, he just said "Ok". "Ok What" I responded. He just said I'll go. NO argument, no question - nothing. An hour later, I asked him again if he was really ok with going to school. Man-child said "The job is ok but I know you really want me to be in this program and you are probably going to make me do it anyway. Besides, it maight be ok". WAS THAT MY CHILD.
I thought about it for a few days and I just had to let it go. Then my Sistah Friend, Edwina said "Girl, I think he is growing up". WOW... my Man-child is really growing up.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day
Today is Father's Day. For me, it was just another day. It also brought a bit of sadness. First, I grew up without a dad and that is Okay. I had plenty of uncles who did things with my brothers and I; but, they were just my uncles. My father did not acknowledge me until I was about 12 years old and I would only see him once every year or so. I never called him dad and that was okay. He died on Mother's Day two-three years ago from Cancer.
I thought of Man-child. I can't describe his relationship with his dad. Since he was two years old, his dad picks him up on Friday, takes him to Burger King, then to visit his grandparents. They have never been to a ball game, the mall, a movie, had a sleep-over or what ever father and sons do. Though it angers the Heck out of me, I try to not to waste too much time on it because that is wasted energy. I need all the energy I can get to rise Man-child. Man-child called him tody to wish him Happy Father's Day and the conversation lasted 20 seconds. Secretly, I wish they had a better relationship but I've accepted it as it is.
Second, I listened, rather read, all of the banter on Face Book regarding Fathers and the lack thereof. There were shout outs for Dad, uncles and those who stand in for dads. There was yelling and angry agruments about good dads verus bad dad. Dead beat Dads and more. WOW!! I thought - how depressing and soo much wasted energy.
Third, I smiled when all of my Sistah Friends called or texted me to wish me Happy Father's Day. Afterall, as they all reminded me, I am doing double duty - Mom and Dad. Hmmmmmm..... They are right but it's not something that I am proud of. I never intended to be a single parent. After all these years, I am still not sure about it especially since I am raising a man child. There is so much that I can't teach him and that bothers and worries me alot. I look at my brothers who were also raised by single mom. I wonder how their lives could have been different if we had a dad around. Hmmmmmmm.....
Father's Day should be celebrated with the same Excitment as Mother's Day. I applaud All of the Fathers who are rising their children. I honor the part-time dads, the fill-in dads, the once-a-month dads, the dads that are incarcerated and try to be dads, the dads who want to but can't, and special accolades to All the MOMs, who effortlessly raise their children.
Father's Day will probably just be another day for me and that is okay. I have to be the best to raise my Man-child no matter what.
I thought of Man-child. I can't describe his relationship with his dad. Since he was two years old, his dad picks him up on Friday, takes him to Burger King, then to visit his grandparents. They have never been to a ball game, the mall, a movie, had a sleep-over or what ever father and sons do. Though it angers the Heck out of me, I try to not to waste too much time on it because that is wasted energy. I need all the energy I can get to rise Man-child. Man-child called him tody to wish him Happy Father's Day and the conversation lasted 20 seconds. Secretly, I wish they had a better relationship but I've accepted it as it is.
Second, I listened, rather read, all of the banter on Face Book regarding Fathers and the lack thereof. There were shout outs for Dad, uncles and those who stand in for dads. There was yelling and angry agruments about good dads verus bad dad. Dead beat Dads and more. WOW!! I thought - how depressing and soo much wasted energy.
Third, I smiled when all of my Sistah Friends called or texted me to wish me Happy Father's Day. Afterall, as they all reminded me, I am doing double duty - Mom and Dad. Hmmmmmm..... They are right but it's not something that I am proud of. I never intended to be a single parent. After all these years, I am still not sure about it especially since I am raising a man child. There is so much that I can't teach him and that bothers and worries me alot. I look at my brothers who were also raised by single mom. I wonder how their lives could have been different if we had a dad around. Hmmmmmmm.....
Father's Day should be celebrated with the same Excitment as Mother's Day. I applaud All of the Fathers who are rising their children. I honor the part-time dads, the fill-in dads, the once-a-month dads, the dads that are incarcerated and try to be dads, the dads who want to but can't, and special accolades to All the MOMs, who effortlessly raise their children.
Father's Day will probably just be another day for me and that is okay. I have to be the best to raise my Man-child no matter what.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
How Man-Child Spent Spring Break
As always, I never look forward to Spring Break because I have to find extra grocery money. I try to plan little trips for Man-chld to do but as he gets older and work schedule permits, it gets harder each year.
This year, I planned to take a vacation without Man-child. The only problem-my vacation is a week after his. So, I decided that now would be the perfect time for him to start on his Service Learning Hours or Community Service. All high school students must complete 80 hours of Service learning hours in order to graduate. Man-child decided to go to The New Rogers Avenue Day Nursery School.( www.nradn.blogspot.com)
Woo Hoo... this is the day care center that he went to as a child and I was VERY EXCITED. Since he graduated, I have always gone back to visit the instructors and to donate magazines, books or whatever they need for the kids. This is more than just a day care center, they have an outstanding program for kids ages 2- 5 that emphasizes reading, math and science. I also have a great nephew who currently attends the school. The staff is AWESOME and I knew he would enjoy it. Then, I had an "OH NO" moment - Man-child will have to work with little ones. The director, Ms. Ruth Johnson, reassured me that he would be fine.
The first day of his vacation, I got him up at 7 am. Already he started to complain about it being too early. "Well, this is what it' like when you work a regualr 9-5" I told him. I packed his lunch and reminded him that he was working with little people. (Can you tell I was nervous?) When I picked him up at 5 pm, he was grinning and said he had a good day. The boy went home and went to sleep for 3 hrs. :-) All in all, he had a good time. The instructors said he did not have to be told what to do, he volunteered, he cleaned, he read to the kids, and it was a joy having him at the center. (can you see my heart growing with pride?)
Now let's see what happens when the summer program starts.
This year, I planned to take a vacation without Man-child. The only problem-my vacation is a week after his. So, I decided that now would be the perfect time for him to start on his Service Learning Hours or Community Service. All high school students must complete 80 hours of Service learning hours in order to graduate. Man-child decided to go to The New Rogers Avenue Day Nursery School.( www.nradn.blogspot.com)
Woo Hoo... this is the day care center that he went to as a child and I was VERY EXCITED. Since he graduated, I have always gone back to visit the instructors and to donate magazines, books or whatever they need for the kids. This is more than just a day care center, they have an outstanding program for kids ages 2- 5 that emphasizes reading, math and science. I also have a great nephew who currently attends the school. The staff is AWESOME and I knew he would enjoy it. Then, I had an "OH NO" moment - Man-child will have to work with little ones. The director, Ms. Ruth Johnson, reassured me that he would be fine.
The first day of his vacation, I got him up at 7 am. Already he started to complain about it being too early. "Well, this is what it' like when you work a regualr 9-5" I told him. I packed his lunch and reminded him that he was working with little people. (Can you tell I was nervous?) When I picked him up at 5 pm, he was grinning and said he had a good day. The boy went home and went to sleep for 3 hrs. :-) All in all, he had a good time. The instructors said he did not have to be told what to do, he volunteered, he cleaned, he read to the kids, and it was a joy having him at the center. (can you see my heart growing with pride?)
Now let's see what happens when the summer program starts.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Summer Youth Works -Registration Nightmare
I was soo excited when I got the announcement for the Summer Youth Works Program. It is time for Man-child to get a J-O-B.
We arrived at the site a half hour early and there was a line - 100 kids ahead of us. I'm prepared with my book and Man-child, who was huffing and puffing about having to stand in line. Well, standing in line was interesting. Kids were yelling at their parents and talking very loudly on cell phones. There were also parents talking very loudly on their cell phones. When we entered the seating area, things got worse. I saw more butt cracks (from a few girls too), super tight jeans, too much cleavage, and tattoos that should have been hidden. Their were girls with pink hair, mohawks, no hair, green hair and one girls who had a mix of locs and permed hair. I sat there and thought "it's just temporary- they grow out of it". Then, I looked at some of the parents, who were dressed like their kids and I thought "maybe not".
After 3 hours, Man-child was called and like a good parent, I had all of his paper work - copy of birth certificate, SS Card, copy of report card, and work permit. 80% of the kids did not have some or all of their paper work and had to leave. When the parents were asked, more than half said " I lost it, where can I get and when do you need it". I thought "Duh - when the announcements were sent out, they told you what to bring". Ok.... Man-child and five other kids were given a W2 form, sexual harassment form and job preference form to complete. I watched and listen to the insructor tell them what each form was and how to fill it out. Two girls were sending text messages and two had ear buds in their ears. As expected, they asked him to explain it again. He went over the instructions again and raised his voice to get the girls to stop texting. Man-child was sitting there. After he submitted his forms, we were free to leave. I thought "3 hours to complete 3 forms that took 10 minutes". Geesh.
During the entire 3 hours, I think I only read about 4 pages in my book. Just watching the kids was unbelieveable. When we got in the car, Man-child said "so is this why you want me go to school?" I said "Well, it's one reason". We didn't say anything else on the way home. I decided to stop and get a salad for me and he got a cheese steak sub.
I can't wait to see what lessons we learn when the job starts this summer.
We arrived at the site a half hour early and there was a line - 100 kids ahead of us. I'm prepared with my book and Man-child, who was huffing and puffing about having to stand in line. Well, standing in line was interesting. Kids were yelling at their parents and talking very loudly on cell phones. There were also parents talking very loudly on their cell phones. When we entered the seating area, things got worse. I saw more butt cracks (from a few girls too), super tight jeans, too much cleavage, and tattoos that should have been hidden. Their were girls with pink hair, mohawks, no hair, green hair and one girls who had a mix of locs and permed hair. I sat there and thought "it's just temporary- they grow out of it". Then, I looked at some of the parents, who were dressed like their kids and I thought "maybe not".
After 3 hours, Man-child was called and like a good parent, I had all of his paper work - copy of birth certificate, SS Card, copy of report card, and work permit. 80% of the kids did not have some or all of their paper work and had to leave. When the parents were asked, more than half said " I lost it, where can I get and when do you need it". I thought "Duh - when the announcements were sent out, they told you what to bring". Ok.... Man-child and five other kids were given a W2 form, sexual harassment form and job preference form to complete. I watched and listen to the insructor tell them what each form was and how to fill it out. Two girls were sending text messages and two had ear buds in their ears. As expected, they asked him to explain it again. He went over the instructions again and raised his voice to get the girls to stop texting. Man-child was sitting there. After he submitted his forms, we were free to leave. I thought "3 hours to complete 3 forms that took 10 minutes". Geesh.
During the entire 3 hours, I think I only read about 4 pages in my book. Just watching the kids was unbelieveable. When we got in the car, Man-child said "so is this why you want me go to school?" I said "Well, it's one reason". We didn't say anything else on the way home. I decided to stop and get a salad for me and he got a cheese steak sub.
I can't wait to see what lessons we learn when the job starts this summer.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Me, Man-child And The Visitor....
Two nights ago, I had a chance to just relax and do nothing. After taking a shower and fixing a cup of peppermint tea, I curled up in bed with a book. I was distracted. At first I just thought I was tired and I was seeing spots; but it happened again. Something moving in the corner. Then, I saw it - A MOUSE!! WT* "Uggggggg.....", I screamed and called Man-child. He came from his room with a bag of popcorn in his hand. "What's wrong Mommy", he says. " I just saw a mouse in the corner". He says " Oh yeah, it's been running around for a while, I thought you knew". WT*
At that point, I can not tell you what was going on in my head. I jumped up and started moving everything. I grabbed the broom, mop and pine-sol. the entire time I am yelling and screaming at him "What do you mean - its been runnign around for a while? Why didn't you say something? why didn't you try to catch it? where did it come from? How the Heck did it get in here?" I was throwing questions at him a mile a minute. He just stood off to the side, scratching his behind and looking at me like some crazy woman.
We cleaned his room, my room, three closets and a kitchen closet. We made soo much noise, my Mom, how lives downstairs, called to ask what was going on. When I told her, she said " Well, tell him to come get these traps - I don't want it down here". We cleaned until 1 am. After another shower, I climbed into bed but I still could not sleep. I kept seeing stuff move on the floor. I keep turning the light on and off; the tv - on and off. I must have done this until 4 am when I finally went to sleep. In the morning, I ran around checking every mouse trap we set... NOTHING.
All I could do was look at Man-child. He just said "What!". You know it's HIS FAULT. I have been on Mouse patrol ever since. I told him - no popcorn, no eating in his room and every NO I could think of. Finally, this morning at 3 am, there it was wiggling and making all kinds of noise. I smacked Man-child and made him get the trap. He thought he was going to just put it in the garbage -"OH Hell To The NO - Take that sucker out of here".
I am breathing a little easier but I know I'll still be on mouse patrol for a few more nights. I also called the exterminator to come (like I have extra money). What's next? ........
At that point, I can not tell you what was going on in my head. I jumped up and started moving everything. I grabbed the broom, mop and pine-sol. the entire time I am yelling and screaming at him "What do you mean - its been runnign around for a while? Why didn't you say something? why didn't you try to catch it? where did it come from? How the Heck did it get in here?" I was throwing questions at him a mile a minute. He just stood off to the side, scratching his behind and looking at me like some crazy woman.
We cleaned his room, my room, three closets and a kitchen closet. We made soo much noise, my Mom, how lives downstairs, called to ask what was going on. When I told her, she said " Well, tell him to come get these traps - I don't want it down here". We cleaned until 1 am. After another shower, I climbed into bed but I still could not sleep. I kept seeing stuff move on the floor. I keep turning the light on and off; the tv - on and off. I must have done this until 4 am when I finally went to sleep. In the morning, I ran around checking every mouse trap we set... NOTHING.
All I could do was look at Man-child. He just said "What!". You know it's HIS FAULT. I have been on Mouse patrol ever since. I told him - no popcorn, no eating in his room and every NO I could think of. Finally, this morning at 3 am, there it was wiggling and making all kinds of noise. I smacked Man-child and made him get the trap. He thought he was going to just put it in the garbage -"OH Hell To The NO - Take that sucker out of here".
I am breathing a little easier but I know I'll still be on mouse patrol for a few more nights. I also called the exterminator to come (like I have extra money). What's next? ........
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Teenagers And Coats
Yesterday, Mother Nature blessed us with another 4 inches of snow. School was 2 hours late and I decided to be 2 hrs late too. As I sipped my tea, I watched Man-child shovel snow. It was 28 degrees and he had on his hoodie jacket and ear phones. I do not understand why he refuses to wear a coat. He has two. I think of all the warnings that were given about H1N1, covering your coughs, and safety precautions. Health officials were talking to the wrong group of people.
I started the winter yelling at him about his coat. Then I gave up. Remembering my 2010 mantra - Relax, Listen and Look Inside for Answers - I decided to just wait for the reason to manifest. After getting dressed for school, Man-child had a cup of tea (the only thing we have in common), gave me a kiss on the cheek, put his sweat shirt on over his uniform, grabbed his ear phones and he was gone. Hmmmmmmm... I just watched and said nothing.
As I sat on the subway, I noticed that all of the teenagers were dressed like Man-child, even the girls. I noticed kids with only sweaters, jackets that were not button or zipped, no hats, no scarfs, no socks, jackets that barely covered their stomachs and more muffins tops than I cared to look at. Hmmmmmmm.... what are we teaching these kids. Wait.. it's not the adults - we have on our coats, sweater, etc. They do know that it is COLD with SNOW on the ground. RELAX - I say to myself. Then I laughed as I remembered my mother yelling at Man-child "you'll think twice once Arthur starts knocking on your door". Man-child looked at her with that "Oh" so stupid "What" look on his face. Too Funny
Later that day, Man-child called me to say that he would be late. He wanted to play football in the snow. HUH!! He hates sports. He said he thought it would be fun. When he got home, the temperature had begun to drop and Man-child was soaking wet. All I could do was look at him. "I know, I know", he said. "Imma take my wet clothes off but Mommy it was kinda fun". Again I said nothing. What could I say. After taking a shower, he started to complain about his runny nose, ear ache and sore throat. AH HA... Lesson being taught but I hope he is paying attention. Somehow, I don't think so.... What do you think?
I started the winter yelling at him about his coat. Then I gave up. Remembering my 2010 mantra - Relax, Listen and Look Inside for Answers - I decided to just wait for the reason to manifest. After getting dressed for school, Man-child had a cup of tea (the only thing we have in common), gave me a kiss on the cheek, put his sweat shirt on over his uniform, grabbed his ear phones and he was gone. Hmmmmmmm... I just watched and said nothing.
As I sat on the subway, I noticed that all of the teenagers were dressed like Man-child, even the girls. I noticed kids with only sweaters, jackets that were not button or zipped, no hats, no scarfs, no socks, jackets that barely covered their stomachs and more muffins tops than I cared to look at. Hmmmmmmm.... what are we teaching these kids. Wait.. it's not the adults - we have on our coats, sweater, etc. They do know that it is COLD with SNOW on the ground. RELAX - I say to myself. Then I laughed as I remembered my mother yelling at Man-child "you'll think twice once Arthur starts knocking on your door". Man-child looked at her with that "Oh" so stupid "What" look on his face. Too Funny
Later that day, Man-child called me to say that he would be late. He wanted to play football in the snow. HUH!! He hates sports. He said he thought it would be fun. When he got home, the temperature had begun to drop and Man-child was soaking wet. All I could do was look at him. "I know, I know", he said. "Imma take my wet clothes off but Mommy it was kinda fun". Again I said nothing. What could I say. After taking a shower, he started to complain about his runny nose, ear ache and sore throat. AH HA... Lesson being taught but I hope he is paying attention. Somehow, I don't think so.... What do you think?
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