The Telephone Call

Today was one of those days where I just watched the clock and prayed for 5 pm.  I was clearing my desk and shutting the computer off, when my cell phone rang.  I picked it up and saw Man-child’s face.  Now, a few weeks ago, I would have been in a panic- is something wrong, did something happen, did he need something, do I have to go over there, did somebody hurt my baby.. and the questions could go on and on.  

Inhale... Breath.... 

 

I answered the phone:

Me:  Hey.

MC:  Hey Ma

Me:   Everything OK

MC:  Yeah.. I just wanted to call you and see how your day went.  (me – getting choked up)

Me:  I’m OK.  Just getting ready to go home.

MC:  Ma.. I just wanted to tell that I really should have listened to you.

Me:   What happen?

MC:  Nothing. It’s just that now I realized that a lot of stuff you told could have helped me and I just wanted to do what I wanted.  Now I have to pay for it.

Me:   (swallow) hmmmmmm

MC:  I mean - I know you went to college and stuff and had to do some of this stuff and I just should have listened. 

Me:   You know I am not going to tell you something that will hurt you or will not benefit you.  

MC:  I know.  Classes were good today. I had a quiz in History but that class is so boring – half of the class went to sleep.  But other than that I am ok.

Me:  Well you only have about 4-5 weeks left in the semester and Thanksgiving will be here very soon.

MC:  I know.. well I am going to let you go so you can get the subway home.  Text me so I’ll know you go home ok.

Me:  I will.. Love you

MC:  Love you more

Can you see me smile  J  

October 22 - Happy Birthday Brandon Geoffrey

Today is a very important and emotional day for me.  At 3:50 pm on October 22, I delivered a 7 lb. 6 oz baby boy.  I remember how scary it was.  Correction – it has been scary from the time he was conceived until now.

 I look back at some of my blog post and think HOW DID I SURVIVE.  I remember holding him in the recovery room.  The nurse turned on the radio and Barry White was singing “My First, My Last, My Everything … At that moment, he was all of that and more.  I had ONE prayer

 To raise him to be a God Fearing Loving MAN.  Here is how I raised him….

With God First...   

18 months 

Faith 

Love

Lots of Love and Support from my Family and Sistah Friends 

Man child at 13 yrs. old

Today, My Man-Child is 18 Years Old.    ((SIGH))

Can you See me SMILE and CRY!! 

Career Day at Morgan State University

Last week, I participated at Morgan State University Annual Career Day.  I had so much fun on the campus among all of the students. The atmosphere was Awesome and the students were great.  They asked a lot of great questions and they were very eager to learn about the various employers and what they had to offer. 

I called Man-child to let him know that I was on campus.  I was so excited that I would get a chance to see him in his new environment.  He called me at lunch time to let me know that he was there. 

When I looked up, I saw this young man dressed in shirt and tie.  He looked my son but I was not sure.   It was him.  I could not believe my eyes but then I could. (Naturally, he got mad when I pulled out my cell phone to take his picture - Smile) 

 We hugged and I told him how proud I was to see him.  I started to tell him about the various employers and what was going on.  Man child said “Ma, I already know.  I have been walking around talking to people and handing out my resume”.  I blinked.  And I blinked again. 

Did he just say he was handing out his resume?  I had to blink again.  Who was this young man  and where was my Man child?  He smiled and said he had to get ready for his next class.  He gave me a hug.  I watched this young man walk away from me. 

Adjustments - Part 2

Last week, while sitting in a meeting, I received a 911 text from Man-child.  I immediately got up and went in the hall to call him. 

Me:  Hey. What’s wrong?

MC:  Ma, I don’t think I can do this anymore

Me:  Geoff, what’s wrong.?

MC:  *sigh*  I’m not doing well in math

Me:  What’s the problem?

MC:   I got two “Cs, a “D” and a “F”

ME:   Did you go to the tutor

MC:   Well, she was 20 min late and I only get 45 min with her.

So, you can see where this conversation was going.  

I tried to explain that it’s all part of adjusting.  College math is different than high school math – he just needs to be patient, talk to the instructor and maybe look for another tutor.  Man child was not ready to hear it.  He said that he would prefer to drop it and not ruin his GPA.  He stated that he does not want to take this course over and have to stay in school an extra year.  I explained that the goal is to finish in 4 years; but realistically, most people finish in 5 years.  I told him  not to look or think of that right now – just take one semester at a time. I told him that most freshmen go through this. I have faith that he can do this and that things will turn around.

I asked about his other classes and he said he was passing in them but since he has been putting in extra time studying math, he is afraid that his grade are going to drop.  We went over some things that may help and I told him that I was glad he recognized that he was having a problem and has been addressing it.  Again, I stressed for him to go back and talk to the instructor and to request another tutor.  He sighed very heavily and said “OK”.  I told him that I LOVED HIM and to remember that “ NO Weapon formed against us will Prosper”.. He laughed and said he had to get to his next class.

When I went back to the meeting, all I could do was think of my Man child.  I did not call him for a few days.  I did get my support group, my friend Stephanie (who was his first grade teacher) and cousin Jay, to give him a call of support. Man child called three days later and simply said things were ok and that he had another tutor.  I told him I was proud of him and to just say the word and I will come on the campus and  straighten those folk out.  He laughed and said "please don't".  He was OK.  

Praying for Man child

Adjustments - Part 1

It’s been a month since Man-child went to college.  And today, I am really missing him.  He has been home twice – once to pick up books that he ordered for class and another time to do his laundry.  I try not to call him- every day - or text.  I wait until he calls me –which is never as often as I would like L  But I am OK.

So here is what I know so far:

1.        He hates the food in the cafeteria.

2.       He tried out and made the Lacrosse practice team.

3.       He joined a mentoring group – Morgan M.I.L.E. (Men In Leadership and Excellence)

4.       Classes are okay

5.       And he said “it’s hard trying to eat and manage on a budget”

All in all, Man-child has adjusted very well to college life.   As for me – I am still adjusting.  I still come home and look for him.  I hate taking out the trash and I have had to cut the grass (YUCK).  The Rugrats miss him too and ask daily when he is coming home.   Sigh   

Pray for me!! 

The start of a New Journey

It is hard to believe that the summer has come and gone so quickly.  Since Man-child’s graduation, everything has been moving at full speed.  There was little time for fun because he worked and I was engrossed in school.  Time proved that it waits for no one. In July, he spent a a week on campus to get acquainted with dorms, placement testing, selecting a schedule and meeting advisers.   He said it was no big deal but he enjoyed it.

Getting him ready for the fall semester was difficult.  There was the issue of whether he received enough financial aid to cover it, applying for loans and packing his things.  As always, Man –child moves at his own pace causing my anxiety level to increase.  Weeks, days went by quickly and we seemed to be at a stand-still.  All I could do was BREATH and continue to have faith.

Finally, the week arrived for him to check into the dorm and Man-child had not packed a thing.  Everything on my list was packed and waiting.  Man-child insisted that he had time.   As a matter of fact he waited until the day he was scheduled to move in to pack – correction to wash his clothes in order to pack.  Talk about going crazy. I should have listened to Debbi when she said “pack the dirty clothes and keep it moving”.  He moved at a snail’s pace.  I sat and watched and tried to be patient.  Then it hit me – maybe, he was nervous and was prolonging the move.  Hmmmm…… Nevertheless, he finally got it together, we packed the van and headed to Morgan State University.  Of course, he complained because I took pictures of everything but like I said, "Since I am paying for it, I can take as many pictures as I want". 

Man –child is a lot like me… he prefers to do it himself and not ask for help.  He would not let me carry anything to the room (the dorm doesn't have an elevator so he carried everything –including the refrigerator) by himself.  I tried to help him unpack and he only fussed some more.  I laughed when we met his roommate – a Washington Redskins fan.  Man child does not like football.   He unpacked that HUGE computer he spent the summer building and slowly began putting his side of the room together. I stood in the door and watched.  It was not until he hung a picture of the Beatles on his wall that my face drew a blank.   I was speechless and so was his roommate.   I was expecting a picture of one of those anime characters he likes or that Family Guy character that everyone thinks is funny. I smiled.   I realized then that my son was going to be more than alright.

The first week was difficult because he did not call at all.  When he finally called, the first thing he said was “it’s hard trying to take care of myself”.  I asked if he was having any problems and he just explained his trips to the bookstore, finding classes, remembering to eat, and checking his email.  He surprised me when he told me he registered for work study and a mentoring group.   Man child said he wanted to try to work to help with his tuition since he did not follow through with the scholarship applications.  I just smiled.  I also reminded him that school is still his first priority and the money will come. 

I have miss him being in the house and yelling at him just because I can.  I miss hearing that funny Japanese music he sometimes listen to.  I really miss my SON.   I am even more PROUD of the young man The Creator has Blessed me with raise.  

  

Here's what I have to say

Since the verdict in the George Zimmerman case, I have been still.  I've listened very carefully to the prosecution and the defense teams after the verdict was read.  I listened to the attorneys for the Martin family.  I listened to every news channel and commentary that broadcast that night.  I silently read all of the post on Face Book and a few on Twitter.  The song lyrics by Marvin Gaye continue to ring in my ears – “Mother, Mother…there’s far too many of you crying.  Brother. Brother. Brother… there’s far too many of you dying”.   I listened to and read the President’s message to the country:

"I now ask every American to respect the call for calm reflection from two parents who lost their young son," the president said, calling Martin's death "a tragedy."

"We should ask ourselves if we’re doing all we can to widen the circle of compassion and understanding in our own communities. We should ask ourselves if we’re doing all we can to stem the tide of gun violence that claims too many lives across this country on a daily basis," Obama said. "We should ask ourselves, as individuals and as a society, how we can prevent future tragedies like this.  As citizens, that’s a job for all of us.  That’s the way to honor Trayvon Martin."

Here is what I have to say:

   We live in a country that will always be divided by something – race, color, age, sex, sexual orientation, religion, political affiliation, physical or mental disability, neighborhoods, money or class.  We live in a country where laws that are passed to protect us have so many loop holes and interpretations that they hurt us.  We live in a country where the elected officials we choose fail to do their jobs.  We live in a country where people continue to criticize and disrespect the President.  We live in a country where police officers seek their own justice.  We live in a country of fatherless children and overcrowded prisons.  We live in a country where local and national news is filled with opinions and little facts.  We live in a country where a young man, on February 26, 2012, was profiled and killed by a man on neighborhood watch. 

My heart cries for Mrs. Fulton and the Martin Family.

Nevertheless, no matter what the situation or circumstance, I STAND on FAITH and the words of Our CREATOR.  Though I am scared, weary and at times I feel helpless, I wrap my arms TIGHTLY around my only child, MY SON, and I PRAY.  I PRAY. I PRAY.  I PRAY.  I Pray for my son, your son, your children and the Martin Family.

I TRUST that as He said “Vengeance is Mine” and He will seek justice.