Thankful

Today we celebrate the birth of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  So much to be Thankful for .. so much to be grateful for.  A lot has happened within the first 15 days of the month:

1)  My niece and the Rugrats have moved back in.  She lost her job and was on the verge of being evicted.  She also acknowledged that she needed professional help and sort help.  Again my house is crowded and noisy but I am Thankful that I am here to help.
2)    I received a grade increase at work.  Thankful for employment.
3)   Man-child is maturing so much.  He volunteered to give his room to the Rugrats, he helps them with homework and he fixes me tea every evening.  Gotta love it :-)
4)  Man-child has also started to take the initiative to do things without having to be reminded; such as take out the garbage  and washing the dishes.  Now if I can get him to do his laundry and clean the room (I Know, I should just give it up)  Thankful
5)  I was featured Single Parent of the Month of January/February by I am Flying Solo  Thankful  and Honored  http://iamflyingsolo.com/

Each day, we have something to face.  Each day I am Thankful.

New Year- New Beginnings

2012 was a very busy year for me and Man-child.  So, what happened?

1) Man-child finished All of his high school course work early but I decided to let him stay his senior year instead of graduating early.
2) He surprised me and went to the Jr. Prom by himself
3) He was nominated and appointed Student Representative for the City Wide PTA Council and the Grandparents PTA Council.   He also went to the State wide PTA Convention.
4) I stepped out on faith and started graduate school in June
5) so far, Man-child has been excepted at 6 colleges.

Ok... looking at it doesn't seem like a lot but it really was. Man-child has matured so much.  Except - we still fight about his room (Smile)  As we move forward to 2013, we are looking forward to bigger and better things to come.  I can't wait to tell you all about them.

Happy New Year!!

Giving Thanks

Looking back on the year 2011, it has been interesting.  I struggled with caring for my brother, who was shot in February; taking a new job with a 12% pay cut, furlough days, threat of foreclosure on my house, babysitting for my niece EVERY weekend; and finally, losing my car.  Despite it all, I gave Thanks to The Creator; I am Grateful for what I was have; and  I have counted my Blessings as I managed to overcome it all and kept it moving.  Most of all I am Thankful and very Proud of my Man-child.

With everything I’ve had to endure, Man-child has quietly been my rock.  I remember coming home exhausted after visiting my brother and talking with doctors.  Man-child would rub my back and he always had a cup of tea waiting for me.  He never complained when I told him I could not afford a few dollars for a movie or game that he wanted.  He helps with my nieces’ kids, even though they get in his things.  We walks 6 blocks to the grocery store with me and he doesn't complain when we have extra bags to carry home.  He has even learned how to go to the grocery store by himself with a list and get everything I ask for (with a few things for himself on the side).  Man-child has learned how to go to the bank and make deposits into my account and how to pay bills.   He doesn't complain when I have him do things over and over again.  He has defiantly been my every thing.

A few weeks ago, I bumped into a mother of one of his friends.  I had not seen her or her son in at least 2 years.  When I asked her how her son was doing, she said he was in jail for beating a man over a cigarette.  We talked and I tried to be as encouraging as I could.  I wished her well and told her I would pray for her and her son.  As I walked home, I thought about Man-child and how Grateful and Blessed I am to have such a wonderful young man.   When I got in the house, I hugged and kissed him just because.

I don't know what 2012 has in store for us.  I continue to walk in Faith, count my Blessing and Give Thanks for my son. 

Controlling Temperatures

Fall has officially arrived.  I love the colors of the leaves and the cool temperature.  I am discovering that the cool temperature in the house is causing some problems for the Man-child and I. 

I love to open the windows and let the “air” in.  He says it’s too cold.  In trying to keep the cost of the electric bill down, I have not turned on the furnace and I generally keep the thermostat set to 68 degrees.  Since mid-October, Man-child walks around the house with his hoody jacket –zipped up to his neck.   For me it is not cold at all – but then I have been having periodic “private summers,” so I am unaware of when it is too cold.  Well, yesterday, I finally broke down and turned the furnace on because the thermostat read 62 degrees.  After half an hour, I was hot.  He was smiling.  After an hour, I turned on the ceiling fan.  He took off his jacket and was smiling even harder.  Man-child said “Ma, its only 68 degrees”.  Woo hoo - that was my signal to shut it down.  He huff and puffed and put his jacket on.  I had the ceiling fan blowing.

Who is right? It’s going to be a long winter.

Man-child's Hair

I have been wearing locs for close to ten years and in January, I decided to cut them.  As the temperature increased during the summer, I cut it close – practically bald.  Everyone complained or had something to say but I was happy and that’s all that mattered.

Since cutting my hair, I have notice Man-child’s strange hair care routine.   Man-child goes to the barber every two weeks for a haircut.  Whenever he gets a haircut, he stops in the beauty outlet store and buys a new hair brush and doo-rage for his head.  I never really paid this any attention until I went in his room to borrow a brush for my hair.  Man-child had at least 12 hair brushes on his night table – hard and soft brushes.  I asked “why do you needed so many”?   His response was they get old after a while.   Hmmmmm.   Next, I noticed all the different types of gels he has purchase –wave gel, moisture cream, green tea oil, jasmine oil, shea butter cream and a few others.   I asked “what’s up with all the gels?”  He said to help make his hair wavy.  Hmmmmmmm.   Next question – “why do you need all of these scarves for your head?”  His response, “they are not scarves, they are doo-rags to help me get waves".  I counted at least 15 in different colors.   Last question - “Well, why do you keep buying them? Can’t you just wash them out?”  (I think I insulted him with this one) He said very loudly, “Ma, you can’t wash them because they lose their shape and don’t fit right”.   I just backed out of his room and said no more. 

Man-child begins his morning by brushing his hair at least 30 times, he puts some cream or gel in his hands and rubs it in his hair and then he brushed it again at least 30 more times. After getting dress, he brushes his hair.   He eats breakfast and brushes his hair.  I watched him walk to the subway station and he did it again – took the brush from his pocket and brushed his hair.  Later that evening, I asked him to take Rosa for a walk.  There he was – holding the lease with Rosa in one hand and brushing his hair with the other.   After he took a shower, he stood in the mirror drying his head with the towel and the routine started all over again – gel and brushing.

I laughed out loud as I thought about his hair routine in comparison to what women do – rollers, scarves, gels, blow dryers, hair pins and who knows what else.  Since cutting my hair, I hardly think of it.  I get it cut every two- three weeks, brush it and go.  All I could think of is – What Next for Man-child  And Laugh. 

Now That The Summer Is Over.....

I have been sitting at my desk, watching the rain fall, listening to the thunder and thinking about the past three months.  It has been rough but it has been that way for everyone.   Everyone is complaining about being over worked, loss of and lack of money, and a million of other things.  I must admit, I was doing the same thing.  I started the summer with a lot of optimism but half way through it, I became depressed thinking of all the things I needed and wanted to do but could not.  In the midst of it all, Man-child helped me to see the brighter side to it all. 

Man-child completed last school year with an overall GPA of 86.8 and I wanted to do something special with and for him this summer.  He started the summer with a part-time job that suddenly ended.  I was more upset about it than he was.  I did not want him sitting at home in front of the computer all day and I could not afford to just give him money to do the things he wanted all of the time.  Instead, Man-child was my all-around-helper.  He went to the market with his grandmother and her friends (all over 68 yrs old) and helped them with shopping and carrying bags; he baby sat for his cousins (my niece has 3 kids ages 7, 4 and 3 and they are true Rugrats); he accompanied my brother to his medical appointments so I would not have to take off from work; and he proved that he is a very good handy man around the house.  Man- child did all of this without complaining or asking to be rewarded.  I treated him to a game or two (when I could afford them) or special trips to his favorite restaurant.  He did not complain when his computer died.  I began stressed trying to find money to get him a new one but he stated that he was fine using my laptop.  In fact, since we have been sharing the one computer it works much faster than before.  Despite all of this, I was depressed because I wanted him to have fun and be able to do things like his friends and go places.  One day, Man-child said “Ma, don’t stress – I’m just glad I can help.”

I thought about what he said for a few days and I realized that my son was no longer my Man-child.  He has managed to mature and grow up while I was stressing over the cancelled vacations, the things I could not buy and the money I did not have.  He managed to be helpful and somehow have fun this summer while I just caused more gray hair to appear (well actually, I cut all of my hair again).   

 School is back in session and things are just about back to normal -he forgets his lunch money, forgets to charge his phone, he gets up half hour early to finish homework and all the other stuff I have grown accustom to during the school year. I realize now that Man-child is more of a Man than I realize.  I, Thank God for that Blessing.   

Preparing For The Summer

The school year is winding down very quickly. I am listening to everyone talk about their vacation plans. NOT ME!! With furlough days, rising gas and food prices, house repairs, increase medical cost, and a change in jobs have left me wondering just how we are going to make it. In addition, the car is on its final leg and I have had to get rental car for trips over 5 miles from the house for the last month. Instead of crying, like I want to do, I just take a deep breaths and start planning.

First, in June, Man-child will go Harvard University with his mentoring group. I am thinking of traveling to Hershey Park, in Hershey Pennsylvania cause we haven't been there since he was 6 years old. In July, I always attend the Harlem Book Festival. This is a trip that I usually take by myself but Man-child went last year and had a great time. I was just as suprised when he asked to go this year so I may try to stretch this trip for the entire weekend. In August, I thought about Ocean City, Maryland but Man-child hates the beach. I also thought that this trip may be costly since I have to start back-to-school shopping and preparing for his junior year. I am also saving money for a weekend excusion in September with a sistah friend to celebrate her birthday.

In between all of this, Man-child has been accepted to attend the Community College of Baltimore and we are waiting to hear from Johns Hopkins Engineering program. I am also holding the applications for two summer jobs for him. No matter which program, he will benefit and keep those brain cells active.

I have FAITH that this will be a great summer for both of us. I will probably also look for a part-time job for myself (I know, how am I going to fit it in but I will) along with clipping coupons and cutting back as much as I possibly can. Keep us lifted in Prayer and we'll be Praying for you too!