Something Man-child and I never do is watch television together. I watch a couple reality shows, Turner Classics, plenty of reruns, and a few others. Man-child watches cartoon and anime specials.
A commerical comes on advertising bras. Man-child yells "Yuck - I hate these commericals". I tell him "it's no different than a swim suit". So he asks "why do they show that woman stuff on TV anyway".
Ok... I am looking at him like he is crazy. "What are you talking about?" He sits up and says "Mom, they put those tampon and other stuff like that on tv - I don't want to see it". Now I am really looking at him. "What's the big deal - they show all types of Commerials on tv - to keep people informed, choices in products, to get people to buy/sell stuff". Anyway, we go back and forth and getting no where.
Then, a condom commerical comes on. He gets quiet. Hmmmm... I ask him "do you know how to put on a condom?" He says "Who said I was having sex?" Hmmmmm.... He did not answer the question. I asked him again. He said "since I am not having sex, I don't need to know how to put it on". Wrong answer. I told him to get me a banana from the kitchen. When I got up, I went to my stash in the closet (prayed that they were still in good condition). When he came back, I took the banana (we did not have a cucumber) and started to show him how to roll it on. His face frowned up. "MA... That's nasty - why do you have Condoms - and How come you know how to use them!! "Boy please - would you rather learn from me or wrong from your friend and someone gets pregnant". He did not say anything. He just watched me (and the banana was not a good model) but he got the point.
He left the room and I just laughed. I never answered his questions either. Think he got the point :-)
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Back To School 2010-2011
Getting ready for school is always a challenge - school supplies, uniforms, shoes and hair cuts. Man-child, like all kids, was not excited or interested. The first day of school could have been considered a sit-com.
Man-child woke up at 6 am. He walked around the house like he never seen it before. After his shower, he turned on the computer and started checking email and his game stuff. I said nothing until 7:30 am - that's when the show began and I found my seat at the dining room table.
7:35 am - Ma, do you know where my uniform shirts are? You put them in your room
7:38 am - Ma, have you seen my hair brush? NO
7:42 am - Ma, do we have any extra tooth brush? What happen? I put mine on the bed and Rosa chewed it. (Rosa is our Mini-Doberman) Look in the closet
7:45 am - Ma, have you seen my belt? No, Geoff
7:46 am - Ma, I can't find my back pack! It was in your room
7:49 am - Ma, what time do I have to be at school this week? 8:30 Geoff
7:51 am - Ma, I burned my eggs can you make me something to eat? Never mind, I call the sub shop and order a sandwich.
7:55 am - Ma, do you know where my cell phone is? No
Never mind, I found it... OMG I forgot to charge it - can you pull it in while I finish getting dressed. Ok
8:02 am - Bye Ma, I am leaving
WHEW.... I was exhausted and all I did was sit at the table and watch. I only prayed the he got to school on time. It didn't matter that I spent week reminding him to get his things together. I didn't matter that I put things where he could find them but he rearranged them. I just hope that the rest of the school year gets better
Man-child woke up at 6 am. He walked around the house like he never seen it before. After his shower, he turned on the computer and started checking email and his game stuff. I said nothing until 7:30 am - that's when the show began and I found my seat at the dining room table.
7:35 am - Ma, do you know where my uniform shirts are? You put them in your room
7:38 am - Ma, have you seen my hair brush? NO
7:42 am - Ma, do we have any extra tooth brush? What happen? I put mine on the bed and Rosa chewed it. (Rosa is our Mini-Doberman) Look in the closet
7:45 am - Ma, have you seen my belt? No, Geoff
7:46 am - Ma, I can't find my back pack! It was in your room
7:49 am - Ma, what time do I have to be at school this week? 8:30 Geoff
7:51 am - Ma, I burned my eggs can you make me something to eat? Never mind, I call the sub shop and order a sandwich.
7:55 am - Ma, do you know where my cell phone is? No
Never mind, I found it... OMG I forgot to charge it - can you pull it in while I finish getting dressed. Ok
8:02 am - Bye Ma, I am leaving
WHEW.... I was exhausted and all I did was sit at the table and watch. I only prayed the he got to school on time. It didn't matter that I spent week reminding him to get his things together. I didn't matter that I put things where he could find them but he rearranged them. I just hope that the rest of the school year gets better
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Discipline
A few weeks ago, I was chatting on-line with some of my Sistah friends. Someone asked "How is Man-child?" Since school is going to open soon, I have been making him get up in the morning. One morning, he jumped in my face and asked "why I gotta keep getting up?" My response "Cause I said so". Before he could respond, I grabbed his woody and told him to act like he had some sense.
When I told this to my Sistah Friends, several of them got very upset and offended by my actions. A few thought it was creative. Hmmmmm..... Someone even thought it was cruel. Hmmmmmmm.... I listen (rather I read) to their comments before I decided to respond. Grabbing Man-child is not something that I do on a regular bases. I reacted and out of instinct, grabbed him where it would hurt to get his attention. Man-child is now 5'7" and still growing. I am 5'3". When he thinks he can stick his chest out and deepen his voice as a means to intimidate me, I react. I AM NOT THE ONE.
Finding ways to discipline a teen-age boy is NOT easy. Time -out is not an option and taking away his toys (gadgets) no longer work. (Athough, he did cry when I took away his laptop for week) My actions that day were to get his attention -By ANY MEANS NECESSARY. When his house work is not done, No one gets any sleep until it is done - we were up until 1 am until he cleaned the bathroom. Whether I do that again - Hmmmmmm - probably not. But, now he knows I am not afraid to go there to make my point. After all, as his Mother, I reserve the right to hit, smack, grab, laugh at, touch, hug and kiss him when ever I feel the need to do so. ( And I kiss him alot in front of his friends -LOL-is that considered cruel too)
So, if you have any suggestions for other forms of discipline, PLEASE let me know.
When I told this to my Sistah Friends, several of them got very upset and offended by my actions. A few thought it was creative. Hmmmmm..... Someone even thought it was cruel. Hmmmmmmm.... I listen (rather I read) to their comments before I decided to respond. Grabbing Man-child is not something that I do on a regular bases. I reacted and out of instinct, grabbed him where it would hurt to get his attention. Man-child is now 5'7" and still growing. I am 5'3". When he thinks he can stick his chest out and deepen his voice as a means to intimidate me, I react. I AM NOT THE ONE.
Finding ways to discipline a teen-age boy is NOT easy. Time -out is not an option and taking away his toys (gadgets) no longer work. (Athough, he did cry when I took away his laptop for week) My actions that day were to get his attention -By ANY MEANS NECESSARY. When his house work is not done, No one gets any sleep until it is done - we were up until 1 am until he cleaned the bathroom. Whether I do that again - Hmmmmmm - probably not. But, now he knows I am not afraid to go there to make my point. After all, as his Mother, I reserve the right to hit, smack, grab, laugh at, touch, hug and kiss him when ever I feel the need to do so. ( And I kiss him alot in front of his friends -LOL-is that considered cruel too)
So, if you have any suggestions for other forms of discipline, PLEASE let me know.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
My Revelation Pt 2
As the summer begins to wind down and everyone begins to prepare for back-to-school, I also begin to think of all the things Man-child and I did this summer. First, we were-strike that-I was excited about his summer job. Man-child thought the idea of working was insane. After his first week, he said it was ok. One point for me.
Second, I got a call from his school. He was selected to participate in an honors program that was being sponsored thru Johns Hopkins University. I thougt he would scream. Man-child just said "Ok". At the end of the program, he said it was Ok. Two points for me
Next, his mentoring group went to Atlanta. They toured Morehouse College, CNN and the Coca Cola company. Man-child refused to go but I put him on the bus. He liked it. He really liked Morehouse and when he came home, he started looking at colleges on the internet. Wow!! Three points for me.
Then, I went to NY for the Harlem Book Festival. He did not want to hang out with me and my "book club friends". Again, I put him on the bus. He really enjoyed himself. He liked Sonya Sanchez (he thought she was a rapper), Wes Moore and the graphic artist and authors. Another point for me.
My revelation - WHAT IN THE HECK WAS I WORRIED ABOUT? Raising my son has been difficult for me (I know - raising any child is difficult). Man-child and I do not have any thing in common and finding things to occupy his time is stressful. Despite his complaining and whining, he always manage to learn something or likes it. So, as I sit here watching him fold his laundry (he hasn't washed in two weeks and he has been walking around my house in his boxers- I've had enough, I realize that it has been a pretty good summer. Now, preparing for 10th grade - Ugggggg... get ready!!
Second, I got a call from his school. He was selected to participate in an honors program that was being sponsored thru Johns Hopkins University. I thougt he would scream. Man-child just said "Ok". At the end of the program, he said it was Ok. Two points for me
Next, his mentoring group went to Atlanta. They toured Morehouse College, CNN and the Coca Cola company. Man-child refused to go but I put him on the bus. He liked it. He really liked Morehouse and when he came home, he started looking at colleges on the internet. Wow!! Three points for me.
Then, I went to NY for the Harlem Book Festival. He did not want to hang out with me and my "book club friends". Again, I put him on the bus. He really enjoyed himself. He liked Sonya Sanchez (he thought she was a rapper), Wes Moore and the graphic artist and authors. Another point for me.
My revelation - WHAT IN THE HECK WAS I WORRIED ABOUT? Raising my son has been difficult for me (I know - raising any child is difficult). Man-child and I do not have any thing in common and finding things to occupy his time is stressful. Despite his complaining and whining, he always manage to learn something or likes it. So, as I sit here watching him fold his laundry (he hasn't washed in two weeks and he has been walking around my house in his boxers- I've had enough, I realize that it has been a pretty good summer. Now, preparing for 10th grade - Ugggggg... get ready!!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
My Revelation
I was sooo excited about Man-child's summer job. He was hired to work with B. Green Caterers, a division of Martin's West. He was not excited. The first day of work, I decided to drive him. He jumped out of the car and he was off to work. As always, I was nervous all day. True to form, he made it home - said it was a'ight and nothing more.
Two days later, I received a call from his principal. Man-child scored relatively high on the city's standardized test and he was selected to participate in an Honors Program through Johns Hopkins University. WHAT!!! My mouth dropped. Of course he is going to participate. Then, I thought - DAYUMMM - I just gave him that speech on following through and not quitting. You know the one "it's important to finish what you start" and "once you commit to something, keep your word". I also wanted him to learn the value of earning money and the value of money. This was a difficult decision but no matter what, I knew I wanted him in that program. I asked my Sistah Friends and they all agreed - send him to Hopkins.
I was prepared to take him to dinner to discuss it but he decided to buy dinner on his way home from work. (That is sooo my son) After I told him about the program, he just said "Ok". "Ok What" I responded. He just said I'll go. NO argument, no question - nothing. An hour later, I asked him again if he was really ok with going to school. Man-child said "The job is ok but I know you really want me to be in this program and you are probably going to make me do it anyway. Besides, it maight be ok". WAS THAT MY CHILD.
I thought about it for a few days and I just had to let it go. Then my Sistah Friend, Edwina said "Girl, I think he is growing up". WOW... my Man-child is really growing up.
Two days later, I received a call from his principal. Man-child scored relatively high on the city's standardized test and he was selected to participate in an Honors Program through Johns Hopkins University. WHAT!!! My mouth dropped. Of course he is going to participate. Then, I thought - DAYUMMM - I just gave him that speech on following through and not quitting. You know the one "it's important to finish what you start" and "once you commit to something, keep your word". I also wanted him to learn the value of earning money and the value of money. This was a difficult decision but no matter what, I knew I wanted him in that program. I asked my Sistah Friends and they all agreed - send him to Hopkins.
I was prepared to take him to dinner to discuss it but he decided to buy dinner on his way home from work. (That is sooo my son) After I told him about the program, he just said "Ok". "Ok What" I responded. He just said I'll go. NO argument, no question - nothing. An hour later, I asked him again if he was really ok with going to school. Man-child said "The job is ok but I know you really want me to be in this program and you are probably going to make me do it anyway. Besides, it maight be ok". WAS THAT MY CHILD.
I thought about it for a few days and I just had to let it go. Then my Sistah Friend, Edwina said "Girl, I think he is growing up". WOW... my Man-child is really growing up.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day
Today is Father's Day. For me, it was just another day. It also brought a bit of sadness. First, I grew up without a dad and that is Okay. I had plenty of uncles who did things with my brothers and I; but, they were just my uncles. My father did not acknowledge me until I was about 12 years old and I would only see him once every year or so. I never called him dad and that was okay. He died on Mother's Day two-three years ago from Cancer.
I thought of Man-child. I can't describe his relationship with his dad. Since he was two years old, his dad picks him up on Friday, takes him to Burger King, then to visit his grandparents. They have never been to a ball game, the mall, a movie, had a sleep-over or what ever father and sons do. Though it angers the Heck out of me, I try to not to waste too much time on it because that is wasted energy. I need all the energy I can get to rise Man-child. Man-child called him tody to wish him Happy Father's Day and the conversation lasted 20 seconds. Secretly, I wish they had a better relationship but I've accepted it as it is.
Second, I listened, rather read, all of the banter on Face Book regarding Fathers and the lack thereof. There were shout outs for Dad, uncles and those who stand in for dads. There was yelling and angry agruments about good dads verus bad dad. Dead beat Dads and more. WOW!! I thought - how depressing and soo much wasted energy.
Third, I smiled when all of my Sistah Friends called or texted me to wish me Happy Father's Day. Afterall, as they all reminded me, I am doing double duty - Mom and Dad. Hmmmmmm..... They are right but it's not something that I am proud of. I never intended to be a single parent. After all these years, I am still not sure about it especially since I am raising a man child. There is so much that I can't teach him and that bothers and worries me alot. I look at my brothers who were also raised by single mom. I wonder how their lives could have been different if we had a dad around. Hmmmmmmm.....
Father's Day should be celebrated with the same Excitment as Mother's Day. I applaud All of the Fathers who are rising their children. I honor the part-time dads, the fill-in dads, the once-a-month dads, the dads that are incarcerated and try to be dads, the dads who want to but can't, and special accolades to All the MOMs, who effortlessly raise their children.
Father's Day will probably just be another day for me and that is okay. I have to be the best to raise my Man-child no matter what.
I thought of Man-child. I can't describe his relationship with his dad. Since he was two years old, his dad picks him up on Friday, takes him to Burger King, then to visit his grandparents. They have never been to a ball game, the mall, a movie, had a sleep-over or what ever father and sons do. Though it angers the Heck out of me, I try to not to waste too much time on it because that is wasted energy. I need all the energy I can get to rise Man-child. Man-child called him tody to wish him Happy Father's Day and the conversation lasted 20 seconds. Secretly, I wish they had a better relationship but I've accepted it as it is.
Second, I listened, rather read, all of the banter on Face Book regarding Fathers and the lack thereof. There were shout outs for Dad, uncles and those who stand in for dads. There was yelling and angry agruments about good dads verus bad dad. Dead beat Dads and more. WOW!! I thought - how depressing and soo much wasted energy.
Third, I smiled when all of my Sistah Friends called or texted me to wish me Happy Father's Day. Afterall, as they all reminded me, I am doing double duty - Mom and Dad. Hmmmmmm..... They are right but it's not something that I am proud of. I never intended to be a single parent. After all these years, I am still not sure about it especially since I am raising a man child. There is so much that I can't teach him and that bothers and worries me alot. I look at my brothers who were also raised by single mom. I wonder how their lives could have been different if we had a dad around. Hmmmmmmm.....
Father's Day should be celebrated with the same Excitment as Mother's Day. I applaud All of the Fathers who are rising their children. I honor the part-time dads, the fill-in dads, the once-a-month dads, the dads that are incarcerated and try to be dads, the dads who want to but can't, and special accolades to All the MOMs, who effortlessly raise their children.
Father's Day will probably just be another day for me and that is okay. I have to be the best to raise my Man-child no matter what.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
How Man-Child Spent Spring Break
As always, I never look forward to Spring Break because I have to find extra grocery money. I try to plan little trips for Man-chld to do but as he gets older and work schedule permits, it gets harder each year.
This year, I planned to take a vacation without Man-child. The only problem-my vacation is a week after his. So, I decided that now would be the perfect time for him to start on his Service Learning Hours or Community Service. All high school students must complete 80 hours of Service learning hours in order to graduate. Man-child decided to go to The New Rogers Avenue Day Nursery School.( www.nradn.blogspot.com)
Woo Hoo... this is the day care center that he went to as a child and I was VERY EXCITED. Since he graduated, I have always gone back to visit the instructors and to donate magazines, books or whatever they need for the kids. This is more than just a day care center, they have an outstanding program for kids ages 2- 5 that emphasizes reading, math and science. I also have a great nephew who currently attends the school. The staff is AWESOME and I knew he would enjoy it. Then, I had an "OH NO" moment - Man-child will have to work with little ones. The director, Ms. Ruth Johnson, reassured me that he would be fine.
The first day of his vacation, I got him up at 7 am. Already he started to complain about it being too early. "Well, this is what it' like when you work a regualr 9-5" I told him. I packed his lunch and reminded him that he was working with little people. (Can you tell I was nervous?) When I picked him up at 5 pm, he was grinning and said he had a good day. The boy went home and went to sleep for 3 hrs. :-) All in all, he had a good time. The instructors said he did not have to be told what to do, he volunteered, he cleaned, he read to the kids, and it was a joy having him at the center. (can you see my heart growing with pride?)
Now let's see what happens when the summer program starts.
This year, I planned to take a vacation without Man-child. The only problem-my vacation is a week after his. So, I decided that now would be the perfect time for him to start on his Service Learning Hours or Community Service. All high school students must complete 80 hours of Service learning hours in order to graduate. Man-child decided to go to The New Rogers Avenue Day Nursery School.( www.nradn.blogspot.com)
Woo Hoo... this is the day care center that he went to as a child and I was VERY EXCITED. Since he graduated, I have always gone back to visit the instructors and to donate magazines, books or whatever they need for the kids. This is more than just a day care center, they have an outstanding program for kids ages 2- 5 that emphasizes reading, math and science. I also have a great nephew who currently attends the school. The staff is AWESOME and I knew he would enjoy it. Then, I had an "OH NO" moment - Man-child will have to work with little ones. The director, Ms. Ruth Johnson, reassured me that he would be fine.
The first day of his vacation, I got him up at 7 am. Already he started to complain about it being too early. "Well, this is what it' like when you work a regualr 9-5" I told him. I packed his lunch and reminded him that he was working with little people. (Can you tell I was nervous?) When I picked him up at 5 pm, he was grinning and said he had a good day. The boy went home and went to sleep for 3 hrs. :-) All in all, he had a good time. The instructors said he did not have to be told what to do, he volunteered, he cleaned, he read to the kids, and it was a joy having him at the center. (can you see my heart growing with pride?)
Now let's see what happens when the summer program starts.
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