A few days ago, I was listening to the Michael Baisden show on the radio. The topic was "How much privacy should you allow your kids to have". I was surprised at a lot of the responses from kids and parents. Many of the kids threatened their parents -"they better not touch my touch". Parents who said they only looked at things that were left out or open. Hmmmmmm.... Michael Baisden asked "if it were a matter of life and death would you search your child's room". Again, the responses were varied and they were out there.
Well, let me say this.. I go thru Man-child's room, his back-pack, his closet, the dresser, and under the bed. I read his text messages on his phone. I go thru the history on his computer to see the sites he visits. I also discuss everything I find with him and the reason why I continue to do so.
If you don't know what your child is doing, how can you complain when they do something you don't agree with. I asked Man-child what he thought about me going thru his things and he said "that's what parents are supposed to do". When I asked him to explain "he said that some kids lie to their parents and the parents have to know what their kid is doing". When I asked him if it bothered him, he just hunched his shoulders.
What do you think?
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
A New Level of Maturity
Two weeks ago, during the Welcome Back-To-School Night, the parents were told that the sophmore class was planning to have a Mardi Gras Ball in November. I thought how exciting this was going to be - but then - Man-child doesn't like to dance. So, I wasn't going to get my hopes up too high.
The next day, he said that he thought about it and he wanted to go. "OH BOY" I shouted internally. I asked him if he thought about a costume. He said he was going to ask his DATE. I froze. Who said anything about a date. He looked at me and said "I know you think I shouldn't take a date but Ma, I'll be 15 soon and it's just a dance in the school cafeteria". In my head, I am saying "And you are still too young to date - I don't care if it is in the cafeteria". I could feel my heart beating and my pressure going up. Man-child said "Ma, it's not a big deal. Nobody will probably want to go with me anyway". Well, what is that supposed to mean "As handsome as you are, they should be asking you". Then I realized, I need to get a grip on things. BREATH...and BREATH again.
I asked him his date's name. Her name is Olympus. So, I made a trip to the school on my day off to check this girl out. I did not tell him that I was coming to the school because he would have died. After taking with the principal and his advisor, I decided to leave and just come up with another way to meet her. As the students began to change classes, I saw Man-child walking with two girls and another boy. Man-child just gave me that head nod thing and said "Hey Ma" and I just waved. As they walked away, one of the girls turned and said "Hi, My name is Karen and this is Olympus". I smiled and said "Hello". Both girls giggled and walked away. They were very attractive. Olympus was about my height with short hair and Karen was tall with blond streaks in her hair. Man-child continued to ignore me and went to class. The principal laughed and said "Your son is maturing very nicely and the kids in his class really look up to him". WOW.... two revelations in one day. I think I can Breath a little until the next adventure.
The next day, he said that he thought about it and he wanted to go. "OH BOY" I shouted internally. I asked him if he thought about a costume. He said he was going to ask his DATE. I froze. Who said anything about a date. He looked at me and said "I know you think I shouldn't take a date but Ma, I'll be 15 soon and it's just a dance in the school cafeteria". In my head, I am saying "And you are still too young to date - I don't care if it is in the cafeteria". I could feel my heart beating and my pressure going up. Man-child said "Ma, it's not a big deal. Nobody will probably want to go with me anyway". Well, what is that supposed to mean "As handsome as you are, they should be asking you". Then I realized, I need to get a grip on things. BREATH...and BREATH again.
I asked him his date's name. Her name is Olympus. So, I made a trip to the school on my day off to check this girl out. I did not tell him that I was coming to the school because he would have died. After taking with the principal and his advisor, I decided to leave and just come up with another way to meet her. As the students began to change classes, I saw Man-child walking with two girls and another boy. Man-child just gave me that head nod thing and said "Hey Ma" and I just waved. As they walked away, one of the girls turned and said "Hi, My name is Karen and this is Olympus". I smiled and said "Hello". Both girls giggled and walked away. They were very attractive. Olympus was about my height with short hair and Karen was tall with blond streaks in her hair. Man-child continued to ignore me and went to class. The principal laughed and said "Your son is maturing very nicely and the kids in his class really look up to him". WOW.... two revelations in one day. I think I can Breath a little until the next adventure.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Mother-Son Dance
On Saturday, October 2, 2010, the Urban Leadership Institute along with the Raising Him Alone Organization sponsored their first Mother-Son Dance. I was soooo excited and I told everybody about the event. I did not tell Man-child until a few days before the event. I thought "why tell him and he starts whinning about not attending. I went out looking for something that we could wear. I knew I could not dress us in the same outfit but I thought maybe something similar colors- but then, I thought "if i walk in that house with matching anything, he is not going to go".
To get ready for the dance, I tried to teach Man-child how to hand dance (you know like in the R. Kelly Stepping video). Well, Man-child has NO RHYTHM. A gene he inherited from his father. Next, I moved on to line dances - I figured everybody could do those. NOPE. Man-child definately has two left feet. At this point, I figured we would just go and have a great time.
When we arrived I got nervous. Man-child wanted to know what was on the menu. As we entered the ballroom, all we saw were boys under the age of 10 dancing with their mothers. Now I was worried. I looked at Man-child and said "ok we'll only stay for a little while". He just gave me that look. As we walked around, we found a table with two boys that were his age (Boy, I let out a big breath).
The ball started with the first dance to Boy II Men's song Momma. All of the mothers and sons was smiling. Some mothers were surrounded by two or more boys. You could feel the love and joy in the room. A few mothers cried. It was amazing. After lunch, chicken, wild rice and mixed veggies, the fun began. There was a dance contest for both the mothers and son. A 63 year old grandmother won the dance contest (she really put the younger mother's to shame) and her prized was a day spa gift package. They had a raffle for the boys - two autographed footballs from Baltimore Raven Ray Lewis.
Iyanla Vanzant was the guest speaker but due to an emergency, she could not make it. Instead, a sportcaster for the New York Jets, Brian (I can't remember his last name)talked of his upbring by a single mom and grandmother. He encouraged the boys to hold their heads up high no matter what they decide to do. He also told them to "Spread the word across the nation because they are part of a great generation". It was very moving.
After all of the speeches, it was time to dance and have fun. Man-child held my hand while I hand dance all around him. We laughed at his attempt to do the Cha-cha slide and Cupid Shuffle. Man-child could not do the electric slide - SAD -LOL. We had so much fun and I can't wait till next year. The only disappointment was a mistake that I made - I forgot to put the batteries in the camera - DUH!!! Even though I don't have pictures to share, the events of the day have been engraved in my heart forever.
To get ready for the dance, I tried to teach Man-child how to hand dance (you know like in the R. Kelly Stepping video). Well, Man-child has NO RHYTHM. A gene he inherited from his father. Next, I moved on to line dances - I figured everybody could do those. NOPE. Man-child definately has two left feet. At this point, I figured we would just go and have a great time.
When we arrived I got nervous. Man-child wanted to know what was on the menu. As we entered the ballroom, all we saw were boys under the age of 10 dancing with their mothers. Now I was worried. I looked at Man-child and said "ok we'll only stay for a little while". He just gave me that look. As we walked around, we found a table with two boys that were his age (Boy, I let out a big breath).
The ball started with the first dance to Boy II Men's song Momma. All of the mothers and sons was smiling. Some mothers were surrounded by two or more boys. You could feel the love and joy in the room. A few mothers cried. It was amazing. After lunch, chicken, wild rice and mixed veggies, the fun began. There was a dance contest for both the mothers and son. A 63 year old grandmother won the dance contest (she really put the younger mother's to shame) and her prized was a day spa gift package. They had a raffle for the boys - two autographed footballs from Baltimore Raven Ray Lewis.
Iyanla Vanzant was the guest speaker but due to an emergency, she could not make it. Instead, a sportcaster for the New York Jets, Brian (I can't remember his last name)talked of his upbring by a single mom and grandmother. He encouraged the boys to hold their heads up high no matter what they decide to do. He also told them to "Spread the word across the nation because they are part of a great generation". It was very moving.
After all of the speeches, it was time to dance and have fun. Man-child held my hand while I hand dance all around him. We laughed at his attempt to do the Cha-cha slide and Cupid Shuffle. Man-child could not do the electric slide - SAD -LOL. We had so much fun and I can't wait till next year. The only disappointment was a mistake that I made - I forgot to put the batteries in the camera - DUH!!! Even though I don't have pictures to share, the events of the day have been engraved in my heart forever.
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