Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Too many chiefs....

      I know you have heard the saying “too many chiefs, too little Indians”. Well, I learned the meaning of that the hard way.   Many people know that I help raise two nieces and two nephews. It was not an easy task to do.  Even though they lived with me and my mother majority of the time, they assumed they could live by their own rules.  Then, their parents, my brothers and their ex’s and other relatives, would add their two cents on how to raise them. It lead to confusion, frustration, and anger.  I was always called to “fix” everybody’s mess.   Eventually, I learned to just be quiet and step aside.

      My niece and her Rugrats have had to move back in with me.   They wear “Auntie Grandma” out in more ways than one. (Smile)   I am watching my niece, my mom and Man- child battle over how to raise them.  My niece and mom agree on just about everything but Man-child steps in and gives his opinion.  For instance, the kids like to come home from school, eat and watch TV.  Man-child said “Do your homework then you can eat and watch TV”.  My niece says “Well they need a break and they can get it done”.  Well, it doesn't get done and they are usually up at 7 pm trying to finish homework instead of going to bed.   My niece will allow the kids to eat snacks before dinner.  Man-child takes them and hides the snacks so they have to ask him for snacks.  It goes on and on. 

       I am often called to settle the arguments.  I have to tell Man-child that he can give his opinion but remember, he is not the parent.  He puffs his chest out and says “NO, they need to learn the right way or they won’t get it at all”.   I laugh at all them even though it drives me crazy.  The kids often look at their mom and Man-child and then come to me to tell them what to do.  I try to stay out of it.

     More than anything, it has made me look at Man-child in a different light – again.  I think where did he get it from?  I wonder “Is this how I treated him? Was I that bad?” Hmmmm…. It makes me wonder.  Then, it makes me raise my eyebrows at what kind of parent he is going to be – although he says he will never have kids after living with the Rugrats.   Laugh, laugh, laugh…how many times have I heard that one.  At any rate, after seeing him with the kids, I think he is going to be an awesome parent – PRAYFULLY, a long time from now.  

Saturday, February 2, 2013

What I learned today

        WOW!! Thirty-three days of the New Year have already passed and it has been very exciting.  I celebrated my 50th Birthday.  I did not want a lot of fan-fare.  I was extremely Happy and Excited with all the birthday wishes and a few surprises.

        The next big event occurred today.  Man-Child had to give a presentation at a PTA retreat.  He had to speak on his experience on the board as the Student representative. He stated that he did not realize how important parents and volunteers work to make sure that students get a good education.  Man-child stated that he learned a lot about rules, bylaws, funding and how much it cost to get an education.  He was asked “if you were CEO, what would you implement to make schools better for students"?   He stood there and thought for a few minutes then he said “there needs to be a better way for teachers to relate to students electronically.  I know that finding money to put computers in class rooms is hard but students are more in tune with computers and electronic and the old way of learning is not working and students are not paying attention”.   Everyone clapped and he just smiled.

    I cannot tell you how PROUD I was of Man child at that moment.  I was worried that he would not know what to say.  He proved me wrong.  I saw him in a different light today.  He really is not my little boy anymore and letting go is getting difficult for me to do.  He is a very knowledgeable young man. 

   I THANK GOD for Man-child.
        I THANK GOD for blessing me with one of his children to nurture and care for.
             I THANK GOD every day that I did not give up on him when things were rough.
                 I THANK GOD for All of my Sistah friends who supported and encouraged me during those rough times.
                         I THANK GOD!!