A Family Mile-stone

WOOOOOSHHAAAAAAAA….. We have 47 days till graduation.  47… this is so surreal to me right now.  This is a HUGE event for a lot of reasons.  First, Man-child is about to step out into young adult hood.  I will find out whether or not all of the preaching, yelling, crying and praying has sunk into that hard head of his.  Like all parents, I am nervous and scared but like always, I have FAITH that all is well.   I know he will make mistakes and FALL… I just pray that he uses the wisdom I have given him and his FAITH will see him through it all.

Second, Man-child will be the FIRST of my mother’s eleven grandchildren to graduate from high school.  My nieces and nephews, there are six who are older than Man-child, dropped out of high school.  The girls eventually obtained their GED’s and are working and doing OK.  My nephews… we are still praying for them.   As many know, my nieces and nephews have been subjected to a lot from their parents.  At various times, they have lived with me and my mom.  Throughout it all, I have tried to keep things constant in their lives and I have put them first, sometime above Man-child.  But, in the end, they made their choices and they have to live with them – good and bad.  I have continued to support and encourage them.

Yes, this will be a BIG event for many reasons.  I Pray that this mile-stone will encourage Man-child to reach for Bigger and greater things in his life and that it encourage my nieces and nephew under him to REACH for higher ground.    

Sigh

Since freshman year, Man-child and I have been visiting colleges and university.  I cannot tell you how exciting it has been visiting all of the schools.  Needless to say, he has never been impressed with any of them.  His response has always been “Ma, they're just buildings with people”.

Now it is senior year.  SIGH.  Man-child has been applying to schools up and down the East Coast.  After reviewing our finances, we agreed that he could go to any school in the state and live on campus.  I have been trying to stay in the back ground because I want him to be independent and make the decision on his own.  The letters arrive and the excitement begins.  Man-child was accepted at Frostburg State College, Salisbury State College, Chaney, University of Maryland-Eastern Shore, Virginia State, University of Bridgeport, University of Maryland-College Park, University of Baltimore, Capital College, University of West Virginia, Hampton and Morgan State University.  Impressive list – right??   The problem - he still does not know what school he wants to attend .

SIGH.  I have asked nicely.  He said “Ma, I got this”.  I stated “Geoff, made a decision”.  He said “I got this”.  My patience are running out.  After spring break, things will really start moving fast – Senior Farewell, Senior Week, Prom (which has already said he is going alone), and all those other activities.  SIGH.  Not to mention, I am trying to keep up with my school work, keep an eye on my brother, who still refuses to believe he is disabled, and my niece and the Rugrats.  SIGH. 

I ask Everyone to extend their hand in my direction and send me Strength and Patience until June 1 – Graduation Day.   

Too many chiefs....

      I know you have heard the saying “too many chiefs, too little Indians”. Well, I learned the meaning of that the hard way.   Many people know that I help raise two nieces and two nephews. It was not an easy task to do.  Even though they lived with me and my mother majority of the time, they assumed they could live by their own rules.  Then, their parents, my brothers and their ex’s and other relatives, would add their two cents on how to raise them. It lead to confusion, frustration, and anger.  I was always called to “fix” everybody’s mess.   Eventually, I learned to just be quiet and step aside.

      My niece and her Rugrats have had to move back in with me.   They wear “Auntie Grandma” out in more ways than one. (Smile)   I am watching my niece, my mom and Man- child battle over how to raise them.  My niece and mom agree on just about everything but Man-child steps in and gives his opinion.  For instance, the kids like to come home from school, eat and watch TV.  Man-child said “Do your homework then you can eat and watch TV”.  My niece says “Well they need a break and they can get it done”.  Well, it doesn't get done and they are usually up at 7 pm trying to finish homework instead of going to bed.   My niece will allow the kids to eat snacks before dinner.  Man-child takes them and hides the snacks so they have to ask him for snacks.  It goes on and on. 

       I am often called to settle the arguments.  I have to tell Man-child that he can give his opinion but remember, he is not the parent.  He puffs his chest out and says “NO, they need to learn the right way or they won’t get it at all”.   I laugh at all them even though it drives me crazy.  The kids often look at their mom and Man-child and then come to me to tell them what to do.  I try to stay out of it.

     More than anything, it has made me look at Man-child in a different light – again.  I think where did he get it from?  I wonder “Is this how I treated him? Was I that bad?” Hmmmm…. It makes me wonder.  Then, it makes me raise my eyebrows at what kind of parent he is going to be – although he says he will never have kids after living with the Rugrats.   Laugh, laugh, laugh…how many times have I heard that one.  At any rate, after seeing him with the kids, I think he is going to be an awesome parent – PRAYFULLY, a long time from now.  

What I learned today

        WOW!! Thirty-three days of the New Year have already passed and it has been very exciting.  I celebrated my 50^th Birthday.  I did not want a lot of fan-fare.  I was extremely Happy and Excited with all the birthday wishes and a few surprises.

        The next big event occurred today.  Man-Child had to give a presentation at a PTA retreat.  He had to speak on his experience on the board as the Student representative. He stated that he did not realize how important parents and volunteers work to make sure that students get a good education.  Man-child stated that he learned a lot about rules, bylaws, funding and how much it cost to get an education.  He was asked “if you were CEO, what would you implement to make schools better for students"?   He stood there and thought for a few minutes then he said “there needs to be a better way for teachers to relate to students electronically.  I know that finding money to put computers in class rooms is hard but students are more in tune with computers and electronic and the old way of learning is not working and students are not paying attention”.   Everyone clapped and he just smiled.

    I cannot tell you how PROUD I was of Man child at that moment.  I was worried that he would not know what to say.  He proved me wrong.  I saw him in a different light today.  He really is not my little boy anymore and letting go is getting difficult for me to do.  He is a very knowledgeable young man. 

   I THANK GOD for Man-child.

        I THANK GOD for blessing me with one of his children to nurture and care for.

             I THANK GOD every day that I did not give up on him when things were rough.

                 I THANK GOD for All of my Sistah friends who supported and encouraged me during those rough times.

                         I THANK GOD!! 

Thankful

Today we celebrate the birth of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  So much to be Thankful for .. so much to be grateful for.  A lot has happened within the first 15 days of the month:

1)  My niece and the Rugrats have moved back in.  She lost her job and was on the verge of being evicted.  She also acknowledged that she needed professional help and sort help.  Again my house is crowded and noisy but I am Thankful that I am here to help.
2)    I received a grade increase at work.  Thankful for employment.
3)   Man-child is maturing so much.  He volunteered to give his room to the Rugrats, he helps them with homework and he fixes me tea every evening.  Gotta love it :-)
4)  Man-child has also started to take the initiative to do things without having to be reminded; such as take out the garbage  and washing the dishes.  Now if I can get him to do his laundry and clean the room (I Know, I should just give it up)  Thankful
5)  I was featured Single Parent of the Month of January/February by I am Flying Solo  Thankful  and Honored  http://iamflyingsolo.com/

Each day, we have something to face.  Each day I am Thankful.

New Year- New Beginnings

2012 was a very busy year for me and Man-child.  So, what happened?

1) Man-child finished All of his high school course work early but I decided to let him stay his senior year instead of graduating early.
2) He surprised me and went to the Jr. Prom by himself
3) He was nominated and appointed Student Representative for the City Wide PTA Council and the Grandparents PTA Council.   He also went to the State wide PTA Convention.
4) I stepped out on faith and started graduate school in June
5) so far, Man-child has been excepted at 6 colleges.

Ok... looking at it doesn't seem like a lot but it really was. Man-child has matured so much.  Except - we still fight about his room (Smile)  As we move forward to 2013, we are looking forward to bigger and better things to come.  I can't wait to tell you all about them.

Happy New Year!!

Giving Thanks

Looking back on the year 2011, it has been interesting.  I struggled with caring for my brother, who was shot in February; taking a new job with a 12% pay cut, furlough days, threat of foreclosure on my house, babysitting for my niece EVERY weekend; and finally, losing my car.  Despite it all, I gave Thanks to The Creator; I am Grateful for what I was have; and  I have counted my Blessings as I managed to overcome it all and kept it moving.  Most of all I am Thankful and very Proud of my Man-child.

With everything I’ve had to endure, Man-child has quietly been my rock.  I remember coming home exhausted after visiting my brother and talking with doctors.  Man-child would rub my back and he always had a cup of tea waiting for me.  He never complained when I told him I could not afford a few dollars for a movie or game that he wanted.  He helps with my nieces’ kids, even though they get in his things.  We walks 6 blocks to the grocery store with me and he doesn't complain when we have extra bags to carry home.  He has even learned how to go to the grocery store by himself with a list and get everything I ask for (with a few things for himself on the side).  Man-child has learned how to go to the bank and make deposits into my account and how to pay bills.   He doesn't complain when I have him do things over and over again.  He has defiantly been my every thing.

A few weeks ago, I bumped into a mother of one of his friends.  I had not seen her or her son in at least 2 years.  When I asked her how her son was doing, she said he was in jail for beating a man over a cigarette.  We talked and I tried to be as encouraging as I could.  I wished her well and told her I would pray for her and her son.  As I walked home, I thought about Man-child and how Grateful and Blessed I am to have such a wonderful young man.   When I got in the house, I hugged and kissed him just because.

I don't know what 2012 has in store for us.  I continue to walk in Faith, count my Blessing and Give Thanks for my son.