Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Adjustments - Part 2

Last week, while sitting in a meeting, I received a 911 text from Man-child.  I immediately got up and went in the hall to call him. 

Me:  Hey. What’s wrong?

MC:  Ma, I don’t think I can do this anymore

Me:  Geoff, what’s wrong.?

MC:  *sigh*  I’m not doing well in math

Me:  What’s the problem?

MC:   I got two “Cs, a “D” and a “F”

ME:   Did you go to the tutor

MC:   Well, she was 20 min late and I only get 45 min with her.

So, you can see where this conversation was going.  

I tried to explain that it’s all part of adjusting.  College math is different than high school math – he just needs to be patient, talk to the instructor and maybe look for another tutor.  Man child was not ready to hear it.  He said that he would prefer to drop it and not ruin his GPA.  He stated that he does not want to take this course over and have to stay in school an extra year.  I explained that the goal is to finish in 4 years; but realistically, most people finish in 5 years.  I told him  not to look or think of that right now – just take one semester at a time. I told him that most freshmen go through this. I have faith that he can do this and that things will turn around.

I asked about his other classes and he said he was passing in them but since he has been putting in extra time studying math, he is afraid that his grade are going to drop.  We went over some things that may help and I told him that I was glad he recognized that he was having a problem and has been addressing it.  Again, I stressed for him to go back and talk to the instructor and to request another tutor.  He sighed very heavily and said “OK”.  I told him that I LOVED HIM and to remember that “ NO Weapon formed against us will Prosper”.. He laughed and said he had to get to his next class.

When I went back to the meeting, all I could do was think of my Man child.  I did not call him for a few days.  I did get my support group, my friend Stephanie (who was his first grade teacher) and cousin Jay, to give him a call of support. Man child called three days later and simply said things were ok and that he had another tutor.  I told him I was proud of him and to just say the word and I will come on the campus and  straighten those folk out.  He laughed and said "please don't".  He was OK.  

Praying for Man child


  1. CILLA I share your pain...gurl it's more than a notion with young adult/college students. Glad to hear that ManChild is doing better and that you don't have to go up to the campus to straight
    en anyone out. Hugs

  2. You are right. He will be ok. It's great that he knows he can call you. He's definitely learning to adjust. So proud of him!! (P.S. I still get those calls. LOL!!)
    Cathy A.

  3. 'Cilla, it's great that Man-child called you to talk through his challenges with you. Another example of the powerful foundation you provided for him.

  4. Ditto on what Patricia said. You established a foundation of love and support of which he can count on.

  5. Cilla, omg do realize how wonderful that experience was? The fact that he came to you with it says a lot! Smile girl, you got this!

  6. That was me 27 years ago at Brookhaven College in Dallas. The waves of College Algebra buffeted me so, but when I found that right tutor, I celebrated that "hard C". I passed. Hallelujah. I only got on "F" in Biology that first school year, the only "F I ever got in my life. BUt I had to come back swingin' and get yet another "hard C" and graduated. If Man-Child needs to talk to someone who had to get through the devastation of failure or the overwhelm of feeling like you'll never catch on, tell him to come talk to me. LOL

  7. Cilla, I am so proud of you and Man-child. He just needed your comforting reassurance that he's going in the right direction. You've trained him up in the right way, and it has stuck. Beautiful.

  8. It feels good when we send them off and they can figure things out. It reflects just as good we did as parents. Now this manchild I am raising has me worried. The girl was such a breeze, i just offered mommy love and pep talks along the way. I have 2.5 years to prepare for my manchild.

  9. You have a great relationship with your son. He will be fine