Once I got home from dropping Man-child off, I was angry. I thought I should have stayed and just made his night terrible. Instead, I sat home watching the clock. I kept going over the conversation in my head and I could not believe he tried to pull a quick on me. But I wanted to be ready to to meet this girl's momma. I pulled my hair back in a ponytail, changed my shirt, grabbed the short jacket and scarf and I jumped in the car.
A trip that usually takes thirty minutes I think only took me twenty minutes. I parked the car in front of the threatre to make sure I would not miss them coming out (and you know I was a little ticked off with that security guard who kept telling me to move my car). Man-child and Olympus walked out of the threatre holding hands. Pleeasssse. When he noticed the car he came running with this big grin on his face and said "Ma, Imma catch the subway with Olympus and her friend". That's when I noticed the other girl. Where did she come from. I told Man-child "Oh no, it's already 7:45 and by the time you get home it will be late. I don't mind taking your friends home. Get in NOW!!. Olympus says "My mother doesn't like for me to ride in cars with strangers so I'll catch the subway". I am sitting there thinking "Who the Hell do you think you are fooling?" I gave her my cell phone and said " Sweetie, call you MOM and let me talk to her cause it's really not a problem and I want to make sure you are safe". By this time Man-child is looking worried and the other girl was looking in the sky for a miracle.
Olympus called her Mom. I told her that I was at the threatre and I would bring her home since it was late. The Mom said "Thank you but she can get the subway home. I'll have her step-dad pick her up at the last stop". Again, I told her that it was cold and it was really no problem. She insisted that I take her daughter to the subway. I said ok. I drove them to a subway station - not the one around the corner cause I still was not satisfied - I wanted some answers. The other young lady was her friend, Angel, who just happened to be there with someone else and decided to go home with Olympus. Hmmmmmmmm....... No one said anything in the car. When we got to the subway station, Man-child walked them to the entrance and gave Olympus a hug. YUCK!!
When we got home, Man-child was so happy. I just looked at him. I asked him "I wonder why I could not take her home? Don't you think that is strange?" He just said "I don't want to get mixed up in their family business". Well what in the hell is that supposed to mean?? I sat Man-child down and told him " You have to be careful who you choose to get involved with. This doesn't sound or appear right at all. And before you decided to go on anymore dates, or whatever you want to call you better check out the parents, brothers, sisters, friends and anybody else they know. And the next time something like this occurs, it will NOT be Pretty". He just gave me a hug and said "I sorry".. Yeah right, until next time.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Man-child and the Lie Part 1
I always know when Man-child is up to something - he volunteers to do things. This morning after he helped my mom and her friends at the market, he raked 6 bags of leaves, gave Rosa a bath, and cleaned the bathroom. I am just waiting ....
The phone rings and he takes it into his room. BINGO!!!! After ten minutes, he comes out of his room, gives me hug and says "Hey Ma, need me to do anything else". Without looking at him I said "spill it". Pay attention to this conversation.....
"Well, if it's ok - I wanted to go to the movies with my friends"
"What friends, Geoff?
"Oh, You don't them".
"Why don't I know them? How do you know them and what movies are you going to?"
"The one in Owings Mills to see Harry Potter. We were going to catch the subway".
"So, how many is we and who are you going with?"
"Ummmm, well I was going to meet Olympus at the movies".
"I thought you said it was a few kids going. Now it's just you and Olympus?!!
"Well, I am not really sure if they can all go but Olympus called and said she can go".
"So, how did we get from a bunch of kids to just one? what makes you think you can go on a date.
"It's not a date .. I just told her we could go to the movies for her birthday".
"If it's not a date, then what do you call it? And why hasn't her mother called to talk to me?"
Ok... so now my dandruff is up. Did he really think I was born yesterday. After went over his story again, He confessed that he promised to take her to the movies. There were others kids that were going to go but now they can't. So, what made him think I was going to allow him to go. After giving him the evil eye, I had to really yell at Man-child. First, don't ever give me Half-truths, don't make plans unless you check with me first, and don't make promises you can't keep.
Brrrrinnnnggggg.. Phone call for Geoff. Miss Olympus is at the theatre waiting for him. I really wanted to tell the young lady to GO HOME. I drove him to the theatre. Olympus said her mother knew she was meeting him at the movie theatre and she was to go directly home after it ended. Well... she certainly will .. cause I'll be at the movies waiting when it lets out so that I can take her home and meet this Momma.
The phone rings and he takes it into his room. BINGO!!!! After ten minutes, he comes out of his room, gives me hug and says "Hey Ma, need me to do anything else". Without looking at him I said "spill it". Pay attention to this conversation.....
"Well, if it's ok - I wanted to go to the movies with my friends"
"What friends, Geoff?
"Oh, You don't them".
"Why don't I know them? How do you know them and what movies are you going to?"
"The one in Owings Mills to see Harry Potter. We were going to catch the subway".
"So, how many is we and who are you going with?"
"Ummmm, well I was going to meet Olympus at the movies".
"I thought you said it was a few kids going. Now it's just you and Olympus?!!
"Well, I am not really sure if they can all go but Olympus called and said she can go".
"So, how did we get from a bunch of kids to just one? what makes you think you can go on a date.
"It's not a date .. I just told her we could go to the movies for her birthday".
"If it's not a date, then what do you call it? And why hasn't her mother called to talk to me?"
Ok... so now my dandruff is up. Did he really think I was born yesterday. After went over his story again, He confessed that he promised to take her to the movies. There were others kids that were going to go but now they can't. So, what made him think I was going to allow him to go. After giving him the evil eye, I had to really yell at Man-child. First, don't ever give me Half-truths, don't make plans unless you check with me first, and don't make promises you can't keep.
Brrrrinnnnggggg.. Phone call for Geoff. Miss Olympus is at the theatre waiting for him. I really wanted to tell the young lady to GO HOME. I drove him to the theatre. Olympus said her mother knew she was meeting him at the movie theatre and she was to go directly home after it ended. Well... she certainly will .. cause I'll be at the movies waiting when it lets out so that I can take her home and meet this Momma.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Man-Child Is Going To KILL ME, But.....
This past weekend, I was not feeling well. Everything just seemed to be weighing very heavily on my shoulders. I decided to stay in and do nothing. I had a few errands to do and finally forced myself to get up in the afternoon. Man-child went with me.
Once I got out of the house and some fresh air in my lungs, I felt a little better. Man-child made me laugh and reminded me of how much fun we sometimes have together. After eating our take-out food, we got settled for a night in front of the TV. While sitting on the bed, man-child asked me why was the skin peeling on his feet. My response, "you probably have athlete's feet". After going going back and forth, I ended giving my son a pedicure. That's right.. he got my foot messager from the closet, we soaked his feet, scrubbed, trimmed his nails... he got the works. Next, he asked how could he get rid of the black heads on his face. In the bathroom I go and I get the face mask scub. I covered his face and told him to leave it on for 20 minutes then wash his face.
While he is sitting there, my mom comes in to the room and fell on the floor laughing. There was Man-child with his feet soaking with coconut face scrub on his face. I had to admit .. It was Funny. After we lotioned his feet, washed the mask from his face and I cut the hair on the back of his neck, he went back to his computer and I picked up a book.
Just goes to show, I don't need a daughter. Don't tell him I told ya :-)
Once I got out of the house and some fresh air in my lungs, I felt a little better. Man-child made me laugh and reminded me of how much fun we sometimes have together. After eating our take-out food, we got settled for a night in front of the TV. While sitting on the bed, man-child asked me why was the skin peeling on his feet. My response, "you probably have athlete's feet". After going going back and forth, I ended giving my son a pedicure. That's right.. he got my foot messager from the closet, we soaked his feet, scrubbed, trimmed his nails... he got the works. Next, he asked how could he get rid of the black heads on his face. In the bathroom I go and I get the face mask scub. I covered his face and told him to leave it on for 20 minutes then wash his face.
While he is sitting there, my mom comes in to the room and fell on the floor laughing. There was Man-child with his feet soaking with coconut face scrub on his face. I had to admit .. It was Funny. After we lotioned his feet, washed the mask from his face and I cut the hair on the back of his neck, he went back to his computer and I picked up a book.
Just goes to show, I don't need a daughter. Don't tell him I told ya :-)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Evolution of Man-Child
A few weeks ago, Man-child told me that he wanted to attend his Sophmore Ball. Well, he has never shown any interest in attending anything like this. I thought "My child's a nerd, he'll never want to do that". There I was with egg on my face. Then, I almost had a stroke when he said, very proudly with his chest up high, "I already have a date". WHAT.... A date???? First, he just turned 15- what makes him think he is ready to date. Ok.. so now I am huffin' and puffin' and working myself up. After I can down about 20 notches, I realized it's just a dance in the school.
Next, I go up to the school to check her out. I should be ashamed but I am not. The young lady was very polite and cute. My heart is still beating fast. I am just not sure I am ready for this yet. I mean - "Man-child dating". I never thought about it. That is when I began to notice the change or evolution in Man-child.
For the last three weeks, Man-child has been doing exercises in the morning and at night. He spent his money on leg weights and he wears them around the house. He has been brushing his teeth and now he takes a toothbrush with him to school. Man-child has started to comb the peach fuzz on his chin. The boy ironed his shirt three days straight (the pants were still wrinkled though). Could all of this be becuase of his DATE and The Dance. Hmmmmm..... What put the icing on the cake was when he asked me what type of bouquet he should get. HOLD UP.. WAIT A MINUTE .. it is just a dance right?. Do you even buy them for dances?
Then I thought about it. And I thought about it. Ok...this is a new side of my child. As my sistah friend, Dee, reminded me "He is now MORE MAN than CHILD". How the HECK did that happen. On the surface and in my heart, I am not ready for this new level of maturity or what ever you want to call it. I still see my baby. I guess I always will. Yet, I am excited about where this new step will take us. But for now, y'all please don't go too far cause I really need a lot of shoulders to keep me up right now. :-)
Next, I go up to the school to check her out. I should be ashamed but I am not. The young lady was very polite and cute. My heart is still beating fast. I am just not sure I am ready for this yet. I mean - "Man-child dating". I never thought about it. That is when I began to notice the change or evolution in Man-child.
For the last three weeks, Man-child has been doing exercises in the morning and at night. He spent his money on leg weights and he wears them around the house. He has been brushing his teeth and now he takes a toothbrush with him to school. Man-child has started to comb the peach fuzz on his chin. The boy ironed his shirt three days straight (the pants were still wrinkled though). Could all of this be becuase of his DATE and The Dance. Hmmmmm..... What put the icing on the cake was when he asked me what type of bouquet he should get. HOLD UP.. WAIT A MINUTE .. it is just a dance right?. Do you even buy them for dances?
Then I thought about it. And I thought about it. Ok...this is a new side of my child. As my sistah friend, Dee, reminded me "He is now MORE MAN than CHILD". How the HECK did that happen. On the surface and in my heart, I am not ready for this new level of maturity or what ever you want to call it. I still see my baby. I guess I always will. Yet, I am excited about where this new step will take us. But for now, y'all please don't go too far cause I really need a lot of shoulders to keep me up right now. :-)
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Right To Privacy
A few days ago, I was listening to the Michael Baisden show on the radio. The topic was "How much privacy should you allow your kids to have". I was surprised at a lot of the responses from kids and parents. Many of the kids threatened their parents -"they better not touch my touch". Parents who said they only looked at things that were left out or open. Hmmmmmm.... Michael Baisden asked "if it were a matter of life and death would you search your child's room". Again, the responses were varied and they were out there.
Well, let me say this.. I go thru Man-child's room, his back-pack, his closet, the dresser, and under the bed. I read his text messages on his phone. I go thru the history on his computer to see the sites he visits. I also discuss everything I find with him and the reason why I continue to do so.
If you don't know what your child is doing, how can you complain when they do something you don't agree with. I asked Man-child what he thought about me going thru his things and he said "that's what parents are supposed to do". When I asked him to explain "he said that some kids lie to their parents and the parents have to know what their kid is doing". When I asked him if it bothered him, he just hunched his shoulders.
What do you think?
Well, let me say this.. I go thru Man-child's room, his back-pack, his closet, the dresser, and under the bed. I read his text messages on his phone. I go thru the history on his computer to see the sites he visits. I also discuss everything I find with him and the reason why I continue to do so.
If you don't know what your child is doing, how can you complain when they do something you don't agree with. I asked Man-child what he thought about me going thru his things and he said "that's what parents are supposed to do". When I asked him to explain "he said that some kids lie to their parents and the parents have to know what their kid is doing". When I asked him if it bothered him, he just hunched his shoulders.
What do you think?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
A New Level of Maturity
Two weeks ago, during the Welcome Back-To-School Night, the parents were told that the sophmore class was planning to have a Mardi Gras Ball in November. I thought how exciting this was going to be - but then - Man-child doesn't like to dance. So, I wasn't going to get my hopes up too high.
The next day, he said that he thought about it and he wanted to go. "OH BOY" I shouted internally. I asked him if he thought about a costume. He said he was going to ask his DATE. I froze. Who said anything about a date. He looked at me and said "I know you think I shouldn't take a date but Ma, I'll be 15 soon and it's just a dance in the school cafeteria". In my head, I am saying "And you are still too young to date - I don't care if it is in the cafeteria". I could feel my heart beating and my pressure going up. Man-child said "Ma, it's not a big deal. Nobody will probably want to go with me anyway". Well, what is that supposed to mean "As handsome as you are, they should be asking you". Then I realized, I need to get a grip on things. BREATH...and BREATH again.
I asked him his date's name. Her name is Olympus. So, I made a trip to the school on my day off to check this girl out. I did not tell him that I was coming to the school because he would have died. After taking with the principal and his advisor, I decided to leave and just come up with another way to meet her. As the students began to change classes, I saw Man-child walking with two girls and another boy. Man-child just gave me that head nod thing and said "Hey Ma" and I just waved. As they walked away, one of the girls turned and said "Hi, My name is Karen and this is Olympus". I smiled and said "Hello". Both girls giggled and walked away. They were very attractive. Olympus was about my height with short hair and Karen was tall with blond streaks in her hair. Man-child continued to ignore me and went to class. The principal laughed and said "Your son is maturing very nicely and the kids in his class really look up to him". WOW.... two revelations in one day. I think I can Breath a little until the next adventure.
The next day, he said that he thought about it and he wanted to go. "OH BOY" I shouted internally. I asked him if he thought about a costume. He said he was going to ask his DATE. I froze. Who said anything about a date. He looked at me and said "I know you think I shouldn't take a date but Ma, I'll be 15 soon and it's just a dance in the school cafeteria". In my head, I am saying "And you are still too young to date - I don't care if it is in the cafeteria". I could feel my heart beating and my pressure going up. Man-child said "Ma, it's not a big deal. Nobody will probably want to go with me anyway". Well, what is that supposed to mean "As handsome as you are, they should be asking you". Then I realized, I need to get a grip on things. BREATH...and BREATH again.
I asked him his date's name. Her name is Olympus. So, I made a trip to the school on my day off to check this girl out. I did not tell him that I was coming to the school because he would have died. After taking with the principal and his advisor, I decided to leave and just come up with another way to meet her. As the students began to change classes, I saw Man-child walking with two girls and another boy. Man-child just gave me that head nod thing and said "Hey Ma" and I just waved. As they walked away, one of the girls turned and said "Hi, My name is Karen and this is Olympus". I smiled and said "Hello". Both girls giggled and walked away. They were very attractive. Olympus was about my height with short hair and Karen was tall with blond streaks in her hair. Man-child continued to ignore me and went to class. The principal laughed and said "Your son is maturing very nicely and the kids in his class really look up to him". WOW.... two revelations in one day. I think I can Breath a little until the next adventure.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Mother-Son Dance
On Saturday, October 2, 2010, the Urban Leadership Institute along with the Raising Him Alone Organization sponsored their first Mother-Son Dance. I was soooo excited and I told everybody about the event. I did not tell Man-child until a few days before the event. I thought "why tell him and he starts whinning about not attending. I went out looking for something that we could wear. I knew I could not dress us in the same outfit but I thought maybe something similar colors- but then, I thought "if i walk in that house with matching anything, he is not going to go".
To get ready for the dance, I tried to teach Man-child how to hand dance (you know like in the R. Kelly Stepping video). Well, Man-child has NO RHYTHM. A gene he inherited from his father. Next, I moved on to line dances - I figured everybody could do those. NOPE. Man-child definately has two left feet. At this point, I figured we would just go and have a great time.
When we arrived I got nervous. Man-child wanted to know what was on the menu. As we entered the ballroom, all we saw were boys under the age of 10 dancing with their mothers. Now I was worried. I looked at Man-child and said "ok we'll only stay for a little while". He just gave me that look. As we walked around, we found a table with two boys that were his age (Boy, I let out a big breath).
The ball started with the first dance to Boy II Men's song Momma. All of the mothers and sons was smiling. Some mothers were surrounded by two or more boys. You could feel the love and joy in the room. A few mothers cried. It was amazing. After lunch, chicken, wild rice and mixed veggies, the fun began. There was a dance contest for both the mothers and son. A 63 year old grandmother won the dance contest (she really put the younger mother's to shame) and her prized was a day spa gift package. They had a raffle for the boys - two autographed footballs from Baltimore Raven Ray Lewis.
Iyanla Vanzant was the guest speaker but due to an emergency, she could not make it. Instead, a sportcaster for the New York Jets, Brian (I can't remember his last name)talked of his upbring by a single mom and grandmother. He encouraged the boys to hold their heads up high no matter what they decide to do. He also told them to "Spread the word across the nation because they are part of a great generation". It was very moving.
After all of the speeches, it was time to dance and have fun. Man-child held my hand while I hand dance all around him. We laughed at his attempt to do the Cha-cha slide and Cupid Shuffle. Man-child could not do the electric slide - SAD -LOL. We had so much fun and I can't wait till next year. The only disappointment was a mistake that I made - I forgot to put the batteries in the camera - DUH!!! Even though I don't have pictures to share, the events of the day have been engraved in my heart forever.
To get ready for the dance, I tried to teach Man-child how to hand dance (you know like in the R. Kelly Stepping video). Well, Man-child has NO RHYTHM. A gene he inherited from his father. Next, I moved on to line dances - I figured everybody could do those. NOPE. Man-child definately has two left feet. At this point, I figured we would just go and have a great time.
When we arrived I got nervous. Man-child wanted to know what was on the menu. As we entered the ballroom, all we saw were boys under the age of 10 dancing with their mothers. Now I was worried. I looked at Man-child and said "ok we'll only stay for a little while". He just gave me that look. As we walked around, we found a table with two boys that were his age (Boy, I let out a big breath).
The ball started with the first dance to Boy II Men's song Momma. All of the mothers and sons was smiling. Some mothers were surrounded by two or more boys. You could feel the love and joy in the room. A few mothers cried. It was amazing. After lunch, chicken, wild rice and mixed veggies, the fun began. There was a dance contest for both the mothers and son. A 63 year old grandmother won the dance contest (she really put the younger mother's to shame) and her prized was a day spa gift package. They had a raffle for the boys - two autographed footballs from Baltimore Raven Ray Lewis.
Iyanla Vanzant was the guest speaker but due to an emergency, she could not make it. Instead, a sportcaster for the New York Jets, Brian (I can't remember his last name)talked of his upbring by a single mom and grandmother. He encouraged the boys to hold their heads up high no matter what they decide to do. He also told them to "Spread the word across the nation because they are part of a great generation". It was very moving.
After all of the speeches, it was time to dance and have fun. Man-child held my hand while I hand dance all around him. We laughed at his attempt to do the Cha-cha slide and Cupid Shuffle. Man-child could not do the electric slide - SAD -LOL. We had so much fun and I can't wait till next year. The only disappointment was a mistake that I made - I forgot to put the batteries in the camera - DUH!!! Even though I don't have pictures to share, the events of the day have been engraved in my heart forever.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
The Conversation and the Demonstration
Something Man-child and I never do is watch television together. I watch a couple reality shows, Turner Classics, plenty of reruns, and a few others. Man-child watches cartoon and anime specials.
A commerical comes on advertising bras. Man-child yells "Yuck - I hate these commericals". I tell him "it's no different than a swim suit". So he asks "why do they show that woman stuff on TV anyway".
Ok... I am looking at him like he is crazy. "What are you talking about?" He sits up and says "Mom, they put those tampon and other stuff like that on tv - I don't want to see it". Now I am really looking at him. "What's the big deal - they show all types of Commerials on tv - to keep people informed, choices in products, to get people to buy/sell stuff". Anyway, we go back and forth and getting no where.
Then, a condom commerical comes on. He gets quiet. Hmmmm... I ask him "do you know how to put on a condom?" He says "Who said I was having sex?" Hmmmmm.... He did not answer the question. I asked him again. He said "since I am not having sex, I don't need to know how to put it on". Wrong answer. I told him to get me a banana from the kitchen. When I got up, I went to my stash in the closet (prayed that they were still in good condition). When he came back, I took the banana (we did not have a cucumber) and started to show him how to roll it on. His face frowned up. "MA... That's nasty - why do you have Condoms - and How come you know how to use them!! "Boy please - would you rather learn from me or wrong from your friend and someone gets pregnant". He did not say anything. He just watched me (and the banana was not a good model) but he got the point.
He left the room and I just laughed. I never answered his questions either. Think he got the point :-)
A commerical comes on advertising bras. Man-child yells "Yuck - I hate these commericals". I tell him "it's no different than a swim suit". So he asks "why do they show that woman stuff on TV anyway".
Ok... I am looking at him like he is crazy. "What are you talking about?" He sits up and says "Mom, they put those tampon and other stuff like that on tv - I don't want to see it". Now I am really looking at him. "What's the big deal - they show all types of Commerials on tv - to keep people informed, choices in products, to get people to buy/sell stuff". Anyway, we go back and forth and getting no where.
Then, a condom commerical comes on. He gets quiet. Hmmmm... I ask him "do you know how to put on a condom?" He says "Who said I was having sex?" Hmmmmm.... He did not answer the question. I asked him again. He said "since I am not having sex, I don't need to know how to put it on". Wrong answer. I told him to get me a banana from the kitchen. When I got up, I went to my stash in the closet (prayed that they were still in good condition). When he came back, I took the banana (we did not have a cucumber) and started to show him how to roll it on. His face frowned up. "MA... That's nasty - why do you have Condoms - and How come you know how to use them!! "Boy please - would you rather learn from me or wrong from your friend and someone gets pregnant". He did not say anything. He just watched me (and the banana was not a good model) but he got the point.
He left the room and I just laughed. I never answered his questions either. Think he got the point :-)
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Back To School 2010-2011
Getting ready for school is always a challenge - school supplies, uniforms, shoes and hair cuts. Man-child, like all kids, was not excited or interested. The first day of school could have been considered a sit-com.
Man-child woke up at 6 am. He walked around the house like he never seen it before. After his shower, he turned on the computer and started checking email and his game stuff. I said nothing until 7:30 am - that's when the show began and I found my seat at the dining room table.
7:35 am - Ma, do you know where my uniform shirts are? You put them in your room
7:38 am - Ma, have you seen my hair brush? NO
7:42 am - Ma, do we have any extra tooth brush? What happen? I put mine on the bed and Rosa chewed it. (Rosa is our Mini-Doberman) Look in the closet
7:45 am - Ma, have you seen my belt? No, Geoff
7:46 am - Ma, I can't find my back pack! It was in your room
7:49 am - Ma, what time do I have to be at school this week? 8:30 Geoff
7:51 am - Ma, I burned my eggs can you make me something to eat? Never mind, I call the sub shop and order a sandwich.
7:55 am - Ma, do you know where my cell phone is? No
Never mind, I found it... OMG I forgot to charge it - can you pull it in while I finish getting dressed. Ok
8:02 am - Bye Ma, I am leaving
WHEW.... I was exhausted and all I did was sit at the table and watch. I only prayed the he got to school on time. It didn't matter that I spent week reminding him to get his things together. I didn't matter that I put things where he could find them but he rearranged them. I just hope that the rest of the school year gets better
Man-child woke up at 6 am. He walked around the house like he never seen it before. After his shower, he turned on the computer and started checking email and his game stuff. I said nothing until 7:30 am - that's when the show began and I found my seat at the dining room table.
7:35 am - Ma, do you know where my uniform shirts are? You put them in your room
7:38 am - Ma, have you seen my hair brush? NO
7:42 am - Ma, do we have any extra tooth brush? What happen? I put mine on the bed and Rosa chewed it. (Rosa is our Mini-Doberman) Look in the closet
7:45 am - Ma, have you seen my belt? No, Geoff
7:46 am - Ma, I can't find my back pack! It was in your room
7:49 am - Ma, what time do I have to be at school this week? 8:30 Geoff
7:51 am - Ma, I burned my eggs can you make me something to eat? Never mind, I call the sub shop and order a sandwich.
7:55 am - Ma, do you know where my cell phone is? No
Never mind, I found it... OMG I forgot to charge it - can you pull it in while I finish getting dressed. Ok
8:02 am - Bye Ma, I am leaving
WHEW.... I was exhausted and all I did was sit at the table and watch. I only prayed the he got to school on time. It didn't matter that I spent week reminding him to get his things together. I didn't matter that I put things where he could find them but he rearranged them. I just hope that the rest of the school year gets better
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Discipline
A few weeks ago, I was chatting on-line with some of my Sistah friends. Someone asked "How is Man-child?" Since school is going to open soon, I have been making him get up in the morning. One morning, he jumped in my face and asked "why I gotta keep getting up?" My response "Cause I said so". Before he could respond, I grabbed his woody and told him to act like he had some sense.
When I told this to my Sistah Friends, several of them got very upset and offended by my actions. A few thought it was creative. Hmmmmm..... Someone even thought it was cruel. Hmmmmmmm.... I listen (rather I read) to their comments before I decided to respond. Grabbing Man-child is not something that I do on a regular bases. I reacted and out of instinct, grabbed him where it would hurt to get his attention. Man-child is now 5'7" and still growing. I am 5'3". When he thinks he can stick his chest out and deepen his voice as a means to intimidate me, I react. I AM NOT THE ONE.
Finding ways to discipline a teen-age boy is NOT easy. Time -out is not an option and taking away his toys (gadgets) no longer work. (Athough, he did cry when I took away his laptop for week) My actions that day were to get his attention -By ANY MEANS NECESSARY. When his house work is not done, No one gets any sleep until it is done - we were up until 1 am until he cleaned the bathroom. Whether I do that again - Hmmmmmm - probably not. But, now he knows I am not afraid to go there to make my point. After all, as his Mother, I reserve the right to hit, smack, grab, laugh at, touch, hug and kiss him when ever I feel the need to do so. ( And I kiss him alot in front of his friends -LOL-is that considered cruel too)
So, if you have any suggestions for other forms of discipline, PLEASE let me know.
When I told this to my Sistah Friends, several of them got very upset and offended by my actions. A few thought it was creative. Hmmmmm..... Someone even thought it was cruel. Hmmmmmmm.... I listen (rather I read) to their comments before I decided to respond. Grabbing Man-child is not something that I do on a regular bases. I reacted and out of instinct, grabbed him where it would hurt to get his attention. Man-child is now 5'7" and still growing. I am 5'3". When he thinks he can stick his chest out and deepen his voice as a means to intimidate me, I react. I AM NOT THE ONE.
Finding ways to discipline a teen-age boy is NOT easy. Time -out is not an option and taking away his toys (gadgets) no longer work. (Athough, he did cry when I took away his laptop for week) My actions that day were to get his attention -By ANY MEANS NECESSARY. When his house work is not done, No one gets any sleep until it is done - we were up until 1 am until he cleaned the bathroom. Whether I do that again - Hmmmmmm - probably not. But, now he knows I am not afraid to go there to make my point. After all, as his Mother, I reserve the right to hit, smack, grab, laugh at, touch, hug and kiss him when ever I feel the need to do so. ( And I kiss him alot in front of his friends -LOL-is that considered cruel too)
So, if you have any suggestions for other forms of discipline, PLEASE let me know.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
My Revelation Pt 2
As the summer begins to wind down and everyone begins to prepare for back-to-school, I also begin to think of all the things Man-child and I did this summer. First, we were-strike that-I was excited about his summer job. Man-child thought the idea of working was insane. After his first week, he said it was ok. One point for me.
Second, I got a call from his school. He was selected to participate in an honors program that was being sponsored thru Johns Hopkins University. I thougt he would scream. Man-child just said "Ok". At the end of the program, he said it was Ok. Two points for me
Next, his mentoring group went to Atlanta. They toured Morehouse College, CNN and the Coca Cola company. Man-child refused to go but I put him on the bus. He liked it. He really liked Morehouse and when he came home, he started looking at colleges on the internet. Wow!! Three points for me.
Then, I went to NY for the Harlem Book Festival. He did not want to hang out with me and my "book club friends". Again, I put him on the bus. He really enjoyed himself. He liked Sonya Sanchez (he thought she was a rapper), Wes Moore and the graphic artist and authors. Another point for me.
My revelation - WHAT IN THE HECK WAS I WORRIED ABOUT? Raising my son has been difficult for me (I know - raising any child is difficult). Man-child and I do not have any thing in common and finding things to occupy his time is stressful. Despite his complaining and whining, he always manage to learn something or likes it. So, as I sit here watching him fold his laundry (he hasn't washed in two weeks and he has been walking around my house in his boxers- I've had enough, I realize that it has been a pretty good summer. Now, preparing for 10th grade - Ugggggg... get ready!!
Second, I got a call from his school. He was selected to participate in an honors program that was being sponsored thru Johns Hopkins University. I thougt he would scream. Man-child just said "Ok". At the end of the program, he said it was Ok. Two points for me
Next, his mentoring group went to Atlanta. They toured Morehouse College, CNN and the Coca Cola company. Man-child refused to go but I put him on the bus. He liked it. He really liked Morehouse and when he came home, he started looking at colleges on the internet. Wow!! Three points for me.
Then, I went to NY for the Harlem Book Festival. He did not want to hang out with me and my "book club friends". Again, I put him on the bus. He really enjoyed himself. He liked Sonya Sanchez (he thought she was a rapper), Wes Moore and the graphic artist and authors. Another point for me.
My revelation - WHAT IN THE HECK WAS I WORRIED ABOUT? Raising my son has been difficult for me (I know - raising any child is difficult). Man-child and I do not have any thing in common and finding things to occupy his time is stressful. Despite his complaining and whining, he always manage to learn something or likes it. So, as I sit here watching him fold his laundry (he hasn't washed in two weeks and he has been walking around my house in his boxers- I've had enough, I realize that it has been a pretty good summer. Now, preparing for 10th grade - Ugggggg... get ready!!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
My Revelation
I was sooo excited about Man-child's summer job. He was hired to work with B. Green Caterers, a division of Martin's West. He was not excited. The first day of work, I decided to drive him. He jumped out of the car and he was off to work. As always, I was nervous all day. True to form, he made it home - said it was a'ight and nothing more.
Two days later, I received a call from his principal. Man-child scored relatively high on the city's standardized test and he was selected to participate in an Honors Program through Johns Hopkins University. WHAT!!! My mouth dropped. Of course he is going to participate. Then, I thought - DAYUMMM - I just gave him that speech on following through and not quitting. You know the one "it's important to finish what you start" and "once you commit to something, keep your word". I also wanted him to learn the value of earning money and the value of money. This was a difficult decision but no matter what, I knew I wanted him in that program. I asked my Sistah Friends and they all agreed - send him to Hopkins.
I was prepared to take him to dinner to discuss it but he decided to buy dinner on his way home from work. (That is sooo my son) After I told him about the program, he just said "Ok". "Ok What" I responded. He just said I'll go. NO argument, no question - nothing. An hour later, I asked him again if he was really ok with going to school. Man-child said "The job is ok but I know you really want me to be in this program and you are probably going to make me do it anyway. Besides, it maight be ok". WAS THAT MY CHILD.
I thought about it for a few days and I just had to let it go. Then my Sistah Friend, Edwina said "Girl, I think he is growing up". WOW... my Man-child is really growing up.
Two days later, I received a call from his principal. Man-child scored relatively high on the city's standardized test and he was selected to participate in an Honors Program through Johns Hopkins University. WHAT!!! My mouth dropped. Of course he is going to participate. Then, I thought - DAYUMMM - I just gave him that speech on following through and not quitting. You know the one "it's important to finish what you start" and "once you commit to something, keep your word". I also wanted him to learn the value of earning money and the value of money. This was a difficult decision but no matter what, I knew I wanted him in that program. I asked my Sistah Friends and they all agreed - send him to Hopkins.
I was prepared to take him to dinner to discuss it but he decided to buy dinner on his way home from work. (That is sooo my son) After I told him about the program, he just said "Ok". "Ok What" I responded. He just said I'll go. NO argument, no question - nothing. An hour later, I asked him again if he was really ok with going to school. Man-child said "The job is ok but I know you really want me to be in this program and you are probably going to make me do it anyway. Besides, it maight be ok". WAS THAT MY CHILD.
I thought about it for a few days and I just had to let it go. Then my Sistah Friend, Edwina said "Girl, I think he is growing up". WOW... my Man-child is really growing up.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day
Today is Father's Day. For me, it was just another day. It also brought a bit of sadness. First, I grew up without a dad and that is Okay. I had plenty of uncles who did things with my brothers and I; but, they were just my uncles. My father did not acknowledge me until I was about 12 years old and I would only see him once every year or so. I never called him dad and that was okay. He died on Mother's Day two-three years ago from Cancer.
I thought of Man-child. I can't describe his relationship with his dad. Since he was two years old, his dad picks him up on Friday, takes him to Burger King, then to visit his grandparents. They have never been to a ball game, the mall, a movie, had a sleep-over or what ever father and sons do. Though it angers the Heck out of me, I try to not to waste too much time on it because that is wasted energy. I need all the energy I can get to rise Man-child. Man-child called him tody to wish him Happy Father's Day and the conversation lasted 20 seconds. Secretly, I wish they had a better relationship but I've accepted it as it is.
Second, I listened, rather read, all of the banter on Face Book regarding Fathers and the lack thereof. There were shout outs for Dad, uncles and those who stand in for dads. There was yelling and angry agruments about good dads verus bad dad. Dead beat Dads and more. WOW!! I thought - how depressing and soo much wasted energy.
Third, I smiled when all of my Sistah Friends called or texted me to wish me Happy Father's Day. Afterall, as they all reminded me, I am doing double duty - Mom and Dad. Hmmmmmm..... They are right but it's not something that I am proud of. I never intended to be a single parent. After all these years, I am still not sure about it especially since I am raising a man child. There is so much that I can't teach him and that bothers and worries me alot. I look at my brothers who were also raised by single mom. I wonder how their lives could have been different if we had a dad around. Hmmmmmmm.....
Father's Day should be celebrated with the same Excitment as Mother's Day. I applaud All of the Fathers who are rising their children. I honor the part-time dads, the fill-in dads, the once-a-month dads, the dads that are incarcerated and try to be dads, the dads who want to but can't, and special accolades to All the MOMs, who effortlessly raise their children.
Father's Day will probably just be another day for me and that is okay. I have to be the best to raise my Man-child no matter what.
I thought of Man-child. I can't describe his relationship with his dad. Since he was two years old, his dad picks him up on Friday, takes him to Burger King, then to visit his grandparents. They have never been to a ball game, the mall, a movie, had a sleep-over or what ever father and sons do. Though it angers the Heck out of me, I try to not to waste too much time on it because that is wasted energy. I need all the energy I can get to rise Man-child. Man-child called him tody to wish him Happy Father's Day and the conversation lasted 20 seconds. Secretly, I wish they had a better relationship but I've accepted it as it is.
Second, I listened, rather read, all of the banter on Face Book regarding Fathers and the lack thereof. There were shout outs for Dad, uncles and those who stand in for dads. There was yelling and angry agruments about good dads verus bad dad. Dead beat Dads and more. WOW!! I thought - how depressing and soo much wasted energy.
Third, I smiled when all of my Sistah Friends called or texted me to wish me Happy Father's Day. Afterall, as they all reminded me, I am doing double duty - Mom and Dad. Hmmmmmm..... They are right but it's not something that I am proud of. I never intended to be a single parent. After all these years, I am still not sure about it especially since I am raising a man child. There is so much that I can't teach him and that bothers and worries me alot. I look at my brothers who were also raised by single mom. I wonder how their lives could have been different if we had a dad around. Hmmmmmmm.....
Father's Day should be celebrated with the same Excitment as Mother's Day. I applaud All of the Fathers who are rising their children. I honor the part-time dads, the fill-in dads, the once-a-month dads, the dads that are incarcerated and try to be dads, the dads who want to but can't, and special accolades to All the MOMs, who effortlessly raise their children.
Father's Day will probably just be another day for me and that is okay. I have to be the best to raise my Man-child no matter what.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
How Man-Child Spent Spring Break
As always, I never look forward to Spring Break because I have to find extra grocery money. I try to plan little trips for Man-chld to do but as he gets older and work schedule permits, it gets harder each year.
This year, I planned to take a vacation without Man-child. The only problem-my vacation is a week after his. So, I decided that now would be the perfect time for him to start on his Service Learning Hours or Community Service. All high school students must complete 80 hours of Service learning hours in order to graduate. Man-child decided to go to The New Rogers Avenue Day Nursery School.( www.nradn.blogspot.com)
Woo Hoo... this is the day care center that he went to as a child and I was VERY EXCITED. Since he graduated, I have always gone back to visit the instructors and to donate magazines, books or whatever they need for the kids. This is more than just a day care center, they have an outstanding program for kids ages 2- 5 that emphasizes reading, math and science. I also have a great nephew who currently attends the school. The staff is AWESOME and I knew he would enjoy it. Then, I had an "OH NO" moment - Man-child will have to work with little ones. The director, Ms. Ruth Johnson, reassured me that he would be fine.
The first day of his vacation, I got him up at 7 am. Already he started to complain about it being too early. "Well, this is what it' like when you work a regualr 9-5" I told him. I packed his lunch and reminded him that he was working with little people. (Can you tell I was nervous?) When I picked him up at 5 pm, he was grinning and said he had a good day. The boy went home and went to sleep for 3 hrs. :-) All in all, he had a good time. The instructors said he did not have to be told what to do, he volunteered, he cleaned, he read to the kids, and it was a joy having him at the center. (can you see my heart growing with pride?)
Now let's see what happens when the summer program starts.
This year, I planned to take a vacation without Man-child. The only problem-my vacation is a week after his. So, I decided that now would be the perfect time for him to start on his Service Learning Hours or Community Service. All high school students must complete 80 hours of Service learning hours in order to graduate. Man-child decided to go to The New Rogers Avenue Day Nursery School.( www.nradn.blogspot.com)
Woo Hoo... this is the day care center that he went to as a child and I was VERY EXCITED. Since he graduated, I have always gone back to visit the instructors and to donate magazines, books or whatever they need for the kids. This is more than just a day care center, they have an outstanding program for kids ages 2- 5 that emphasizes reading, math and science. I also have a great nephew who currently attends the school. The staff is AWESOME and I knew he would enjoy it. Then, I had an "OH NO" moment - Man-child will have to work with little ones. The director, Ms. Ruth Johnson, reassured me that he would be fine.
The first day of his vacation, I got him up at 7 am. Already he started to complain about it being too early. "Well, this is what it' like when you work a regualr 9-5" I told him. I packed his lunch and reminded him that he was working with little people. (Can you tell I was nervous?) When I picked him up at 5 pm, he was grinning and said he had a good day. The boy went home and went to sleep for 3 hrs. :-) All in all, he had a good time. The instructors said he did not have to be told what to do, he volunteered, he cleaned, he read to the kids, and it was a joy having him at the center. (can you see my heart growing with pride?)
Now let's see what happens when the summer program starts.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Summer Youth Works -Registration Nightmare
I was soo excited when I got the announcement for the Summer Youth Works Program. It is time for Man-child to get a J-O-B.
We arrived at the site a half hour early and there was a line - 100 kids ahead of us. I'm prepared with my book and Man-child, who was huffing and puffing about having to stand in line. Well, standing in line was interesting. Kids were yelling at their parents and talking very loudly on cell phones. There were also parents talking very loudly on their cell phones. When we entered the seating area, things got worse. I saw more butt cracks (from a few girls too), super tight jeans, too much cleavage, and tattoos that should have been hidden. Their were girls with pink hair, mohawks, no hair, green hair and one girls who had a mix of locs and permed hair. I sat there and thought "it's just temporary- they grow out of it". Then, I looked at some of the parents, who were dressed like their kids and I thought "maybe not".
After 3 hours, Man-child was called and like a good parent, I had all of his paper work - copy of birth certificate, SS Card, copy of report card, and work permit. 80% of the kids did not have some or all of their paper work and had to leave. When the parents were asked, more than half said " I lost it, where can I get and when do you need it". I thought "Duh - when the announcements were sent out, they told you what to bring". Ok.... Man-child and five other kids were given a W2 form, sexual harassment form and job preference form to complete. I watched and listen to the insructor tell them what each form was and how to fill it out. Two girls were sending text messages and two had ear buds in their ears. As expected, they asked him to explain it again. He went over the instructions again and raised his voice to get the girls to stop texting. Man-child was sitting there. After he submitted his forms, we were free to leave. I thought "3 hours to complete 3 forms that took 10 minutes". Geesh.
During the entire 3 hours, I think I only read about 4 pages in my book. Just watching the kids was unbelieveable. When we got in the car, Man-child said "so is this why you want me go to school?" I said "Well, it's one reason". We didn't say anything else on the way home. I decided to stop and get a salad for me and he got a cheese steak sub.
I can't wait to see what lessons we learn when the job starts this summer.
We arrived at the site a half hour early and there was a line - 100 kids ahead of us. I'm prepared with my book and Man-child, who was huffing and puffing about having to stand in line. Well, standing in line was interesting. Kids were yelling at their parents and talking very loudly on cell phones. There were also parents talking very loudly on their cell phones. When we entered the seating area, things got worse. I saw more butt cracks (from a few girls too), super tight jeans, too much cleavage, and tattoos that should have been hidden. Their were girls with pink hair, mohawks, no hair, green hair and one girls who had a mix of locs and permed hair. I sat there and thought "it's just temporary- they grow out of it". Then, I looked at some of the parents, who were dressed like their kids and I thought "maybe not".
After 3 hours, Man-child was called and like a good parent, I had all of his paper work - copy of birth certificate, SS Card, copy of report card, and work permit. 80% of the kids did not have some or all of their paper work and had to leave. When the parents were asked, more than half said " I lost it, where can I get and when do you need it". I thought "Duh - when the announcements were sent out, they told you what to bring". Ok.... Man-child and five other kids were given a W2 form, sexual harassment form and job preference form to complete. I watched and listen to the insructor tell them what each form was and how to fill it out. Two girls were sending text messages and two had ear buds in their ears. As expected, they asked him to explain it again. He went over the instructions again and raised his voice to get the girls to stop texting. Man-child was sitting there. After he submitted his forms, we were free to leave. I thought "3 hours to complete 3 forms that took 10 minutes". Geesh.
During the entire 3 hours, I think I only read about 4 pages in my book. Just watching the kids was unbelieveable. When we got in the car, Man-child said "so is this why you want me go to school?" I said "Well, it's one reason". We didn't say anything else on the way home. I decided to stop and get a salad for me and he got a cheese steak sub.
I can't wait to see what lessons we learn when the job starts this summer.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Me, Man-child And The Visitor....
Two nights ago, I had a chance to just relax and do nothing. After taking a shower and fixing a cup of peppermint tea, I curled up in bed with a book. I was distracted. At first I just thought I was tired and I was seeing spots; but it happened again. Something moving in the corner. Then, I saw it - A MOUSE!! WT* "Uggggggg.....", I screamed and called Man-child. He came from his room with a bag of popcorn in his hand. "What's wrong Mommy", he says. " I just saw a mouse in the corner". He says " Oh yeah, it's been running around for a while, I thought you knew". WT*
At that point, I can not tell you what was going on in my head. I jumped up and started moving everything. I grabbed the broom, mop and pine-sol. the entire time I am yelling and screaming at him "What do you mean - its been runnign around for a while? Why didn't you say something? why didn't you try to catch it? where did it come from? How the Heck did it get in here?" I was throwing questions at him a mile a minute. He just stood off to the side, scratching his behind and looking at me like some crazy woman.
We cleaned his room, my room, three closets and a kitchen closet. We made soo much noise, my Mom, how lives downstairs, called to ask what was going on. When I told her, she said " Well, tell him to come get these traps - I don't want it down here". We cleaned until 1 am. After another shower, I climbed into bed but I still could not sleep. I kept seeing stuff move on the floor. I keep turning the light on and off; the tv - on and off. I must have done this until 4 am when I finally went to sleep. In the morning, I ran around checking every mouse trap we set... NOTHING.
All I could do was look at Man-child. He just said "What!". You know it's HIS FAULT. I have been on Mouse patrol ever since. I told him - no popcorn, no eating in his room and every NO I could think of. Finally, this morning at 3 am, there it was wiggling and making all kinds of noise. I smacked Man-child and made him get the trap. He thought he was going to just put it in the garbage -"OH Hell To The NO - Take that sucker out of here".
I am breathing a little easier but I know I'll still be on mouse patrol for a few more nights. I also called the exterminator to come (like I have extra money). What's next? ........
At that point, I can not tell you what was going on in my head. I jumped up and started moving everything. I grabbed the broom, mop and pine-sol. the entire time I am yelling and screaming at him "What do you mean - its been runnign around for a while? Why didn't you say something? why didn't you try to catch it? where did it come from? How the Heck did it get in here?" I was throwing questions at him a mile a minute. He just stood off to the side, scratching his behind and looking at me like some crazy woman.
We cleaned his room, my room, three closets and a kitchen closet. We made soo much noise, my Mom, how lives downstairs, called to ask what was going on. When I told her, she said " Well, tell him to come get these traps - I don't want it down here". We cleaned until 1 am. After another shower, I climbed into bed but I still could not sleep. I kept seeing stuff move on the floor. I keep turning the light on and off; the tv - on and off. I must have done this until 4 am when I finally went to sleep. In the morning, I ran around checking every mouse trap we set... NOTHING.
All I could do was look at Man-child. He just said "What!". You know it's HIS FAULT. I have been on Mouse patrol ever since. I told him - no popcorn, no eating in his room and every NO I could think of. Finally, this morning at 3 am, there it was wiggling and making all kinds of noise. I smacked Man-child and made him get the trap. He thought he was going to just put it in the garbage -"OH Hell To The NO - Take that sucker out of here".
I am breathing a little easier but I know I'll still be on mouse patrol for a few more nights. I also called the exterminator to come (like I have extra money). What's next? ........
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Teenagers And Coats
Yesterday, Mother Nature blessed us with another 4 inches of snow. School was 2 hours late and I decided to be 2 hrs late too. As I sipped my tea, I watched Man-child shovel snow. It was 28 degrees and he had on his hoodie jacket and ear phones. I do not understand why he refuses to wear a coat. He has two. I think of all the warnings that were given about H1N1, covering your coughs, and safety precautions. Health officials were talking to the wrong group of people.
I started the winter yelling at him about his coat. Then I gave up. Remembering my 2010 mantra - Relax, Listen and Look Inside for Answers - I decided to just wait for the reason to manifest. After getting dressed for school, Man-child had a cup of tea (the only thing we have in common), gave me a kiss on the cheek, put his sweat shirt on over his uniform, grabbed his ear phones and he was gone. Hmmmmmmm... I just watched and said nothing.
As I sat on the subway, I noticed that all of the teenagers were dressed like Man-child, even the girls. I noticed kids with only sweaters, jackets that were not button or zipped, no hats, no scarfs, no socks, jackets that barely covered their stomachs and more muffins tops than I cared to look at. Hmmmmmmm.... what are we teaching these kids. Wait.. it's not the adults - we have on our coats, sweater, etc. They do know that it is COLD with SNOW on the ground. RELAX - I say to myself. Then I laughed as I remembered my mother yelling at Man-child "you'll think twice once Arthur starts knocking on your door". Man-child looked at her with that "Oh" so stupid "What" look on his face. Too Funny
Later that day, Man-child called me to say that he would be late. He wanted to play football in the snow. HUH!! He hates sports. He said he thought it would be fun. When he got home, the temperature had begun to drop and Man-child was soaking wet. All I could do was look at him. "I know, I know", he said. "Imma take my wet clothes off but Mommy it was kinda fun". Again I said nothing. What could I say. After taking a shower, he started to complain about his runny nose, ear ache and sore throat. AH HA... Lesson being taught but I hope he is paying attention. Somehow, I don't think so.... What do you think?
I started the winter yelling at him about his coat. Then I gave up. Remembering my 2010 mantra - Relax, Listen and Look Inside for Answers - I decided to just wait for the reason to manifest. After getting dressed for school, Man-child had a cup of tea (the only thing we have in common), gave me a kiss on the cheek, put his sweat shirt on over his uniform, grabbed his ear phones and he was gone. Hmmmmmmm... I just watched and said nothing.
As I sat on the subway, I noticed that all of the teenagers were dressed like Man-child, even the girls. I noticed kids with only sweaters, jackets that were not button or zipped, no hats, no scarfs, no socks, jackets that barely covered their stomachs and more muffins tops than I cared to look at. Hmmmmmmm.... what are we teaching these kids. Wait.. it's not the adults - we have on our coats, sweater, etc. They do know that it is COLD with SNOW on the ground. RELAX - I say to myself. Then I laughed as I remembered my mother yelling at Man-child "you'll think twice once Arthur starts knocking on your door". Man-child looked at her with that "Oh" so stupid "What" look on his face. Too Funny
Later that day, Man-child called me to say that he would be late. He wanted to play football in the snow. HUH!! He hates sports. He said he thought it would be fun. When he got home, the temperature had begun to drop and Man-child was soaking wet. All I could do was look at him. "I know, I know", he said. "Imma take my wet clothes off but Mommy it was kinda fun". Again I said nothing. What could I say. After taking a shower, he started to complain about his runny nose, ear ache and sore throat. AH HA... Lesson being taught but I hope he is paying attention. Somehow, I don't think so.... What do you think?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
MY HOUSE
I recently celebrated my birthday. I had a really wonderful day. It also made my think of MY HOUSE. My house is FULL of Drama, Problems, Love, Laughter, Confusion, Hate, Jealousy and sooo much more. Let me explain....
In 2001, I purchased a duplex. At the time, it was a very good idea. I would move my mom in with me, since she was close to retirement (not to mention, I depended on her to be my live in babysitter) and Man-child and I would live upstairs. My Mom also cares for her brother, Uncle Mike, who is disabled. Simple, you would think - I did not factor in that EVERYONE comes to Grandma's house - ALL THE TIME. Since everyone comes to Grandma's house, there is always something going on. Everyone ASSUMES that they can spend over whenever they feel like it, move in, eat, do their laundry, or drop off their kids. Like most Grandmas, my Mom is there with welcoming arms.
At Grandma's house you will find, my neice Latrice and her three kids (Mykia, Jayden and MacKenzie) Grandma babysits while she works; Shanika with her daughter Mekhia (who is always between jobs and boyfriends but she always has money for her weave); Nephews Eddie and Dominique - both in high school and full of drama; and two of my brothers, Dennis and Sam, who both refuse to find "real" jobs (they just like to make up side jobs and work at will in between jail time); My other brother and the Texas Chain Gang moved back to Texas (I've shared that story in the past) and they call at least twice a week to say nothing. Everyone is jealous of one another, talks about each other and drives Aunt Pumpkin crazy in the midst of it all (by the way, I am Aunt Pumpkin)
In the past two years, I noticed that I have been given the title of "Bank of America". One of the pitfalls of being the oldest and only girl in the family. I just look at them all and say "I'll help with what I can and no more". At times, I have over extended my self (Lesson learned when the Texas chain Gang moved in) but then that evil "Project girl" comes out and everyone backs off. And where is Man-child - in the second floor apartment on his computer thinking of other ways to drive me crazy.
As I celebrated my birthday and I laughed at the presents I received from the kids, bubble gum bubble bath, coupons to Chucke Cheese, tickets to Disney on Ice, a gift card from Borders and another pair of slippers from Man-child, I realized that MY HOUSE is crazy and stressful, and at times, unbearable - but it is MY HOUSE. Keep us All in Prayer.
In 2001, I purchased a duplex. At the time, it was a very good idea. I would move my mom in with me, since she was close to retirement (not to mention, I depended on her to be my live in babysitter) and Man-child and I would live upstairs. My Mom also cares for her brother, Uncle Mike, who is disabled. Simple, you would think - I did not factor in that EVERYONE comes to Grandma's house - ALL THE TIME. Since everyone comes to Grandma's house, there is always something going on. Everyone ASSUMES that they can spend over whenever they feel like it, move in, eat, do their laundry, or drop off their kids. Like most Grandmas, my Mom is there with welcoming arms.
At Grandma's house you will find, my neice Latrice and her three kids (Mykia, Jayden and MacKenzie) Grandma babysits while she works; Shanika with her daughter Mekhia (who is always between jobs and boyfriends but she always has money for her weave); Nephews Eddie and Dominique - both in high school and full of drama; and two of my brothers, Dennis and Sam, who both refuse to find "real" jobs (they just like to make up side jobs and work at will in between jail time); My other brother and the Texas Chain Gang moved back to Texas (I've shared that story in the past) and they call at least twice a week to say nothing. Everyone is jealous of one another, talks about each other and drives Aunt Pumpkin crazy in the midst of it all (by the way, I am Aunt Pumpkin)
In the past two years, I noticed that I have been given the title of "Bank of America". One of the pitfalls of being the oldest and only girl in the family. I just look at them all and say "I'll help with what I can and no more". At times, I have over extended my self (Lesson learned when the Texas chain Gang moved in) but then that evil "Project girl" comes out and everyone backs off. And where is Man-child - in the second floor apartment on his computer thinking of other ways to drive me crazy.
As I celebrated my birthday and I laughed at the presents I received from the kids, bubble gum bubble bath, coupons to Chucke Cheese, tickets to Disney on Ice, a gift card from Borders and another pair of slippers from Man-child, I realized that MY HOUSE is crazy and stressful, and at times, unbearable - but it is MY HOUSE. Keep us All in Prayer.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Lesson I Learned From A Cheerios Commerical
Today is January 14th. 2010 has started with tragedy. In Baltimore, Mayor Sheila Dixon has resigned, Teddy Pendergrass has passed and a 7.0 earth quake has destroyed Haiti. UNBELIEVEABLE
As the TV watched me, I was thinking of everything that has happened thus far and of everything that happened last year. I still don't know how I survived it all, emotionally or financially. But, I silently THANK THE CREATOR for providing me with strength, courage and friends who pushed me through it all. Then, this Cheerios commerical came on. It was a woman looking at herself in the mirror and the announcer said something like "instead of making changes to the outside of your body, why not start with the inside". "WOW" How many people really heard that.
Just as the commerical went off, Man-child walked into the room, pants hanging, one sock on and my Christmas slippers(he bought them for me but he has been wearing them since I opened the box) and his computer in hand. I SMILED :-) We have survived a lot - dirty room, going bald, bad grades, no graduation, counseling, the relatives from Hell, my long work days, cancelled vacation, and so much more. I thought I spent the entire year trying to change him but how many times have I looked inside. He is OK. I remembered promising to raise a God fearing man. And he is.
I never make New Year Resolutions because I always forget them after the first few days. Instead, I set three goals - First, become more health conscious. I did... lost 10 lbs and I am ok with it.. It's less and I've learned to give up, cut back and exercise more. Second, I became a Blogger. I am still amazed at the number of followers and supporters I've received. Thanks to Everyone. Last, I vowed to make Man-child more responsible - through thick and thin. I never took the time to look inside and see who he really was/is. He is, thus far, a respectable, fun, caring, lazy young man. He is a teen-ager, who is still learning.
All in all, I am looking forward to the things he will get into and I PRAY that I will have the strength and wisdom to guide him. I also Pray that I do not hurt him and have to reach out for bail money from friends. This year's goals -only one - RELAX, LISTEN and LOOK INSIDE MORE. I am really starting to like what I created.
As the TV watched me, I was thinking of everything that has happened thus far and of everything that happened last year. I still don't know how I survived it all, emotionally or financially. But, I silently THANK THE CREATOR for providing me with strength, courage and friends who pushed me through it all. Then, this Cheerios commerical came on. It was a woman looking at herself in the mirror and the announcer said something like "instead of making changes to the outside of your body, why not start with the inside". "WOW" How many people really heard that.
Just as the commerical went off, Man-child walked into the room, pants hanging, one sock on and my Christmas slippers(he bought them for me but he has been wearing them since I opened the box) and his computer in hand. I SMILED :-) We have survived a lot - dirty room, going bald, bad grades, no graduation, counseling, the relatives from Hell, my long work days, cancelled vacation, and so much more. I thought I spent the entire year trying to change him but how many times have I looked inside. He is OK. I remembered promising to raise a God fearing man. And he is.
I never make New Year Resolutions because I always forget them after the first few days. Instead, I set three goals - First, become more health conscious. I did... lost 10 lbs and I am ok with it.. It's less and I've learned to give up, cut back and exercise more. Second, I became a Blogger. I am still amazed at the number of followers and supporters I've received. Thanks to Everyone. Last, I vowed to make Man-child more responsible - through thick and thin. I never took the time to look inside and see who he really was/is. He is, thus far, a respectable, fun, caring, lazy young man. He is a teen-ager, who is still learning.
All in all, I am looking forward to the things he will get into and I PRAY that I will have the strength and wisdom to guide him. I also Pray that I do not hurt him and have to reach out for bail money from friends. This year's goals -only one - RELAX, LISTEN and LOOK INSIDE MORE. I am really starting to like what I created.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Acceptance
The New Year has started and I am looking forward to change and new beginnings and adventures. Before any of that can take place, I had to accept a few things. First, I am ok and I love who I am. Second, I can't and will not try to save, help, or rescue everyone (they have to learn to first help themselves) and Finally, Man-child is who he is and he is growing to be a something. The final product is still in the making.
As I prepared to end my vacation (which wasn't very relaxing), I told Man-child that he needed to find his backpack, uniforms and deorderant so that he will be ready for school. When I went in his room, I was hit with his mess. Stuff everywhere. I've talked about how I've found several sets of sheets on the bed (I wasn't clear when I said take the dirty ones off and put on clean ones), and the pillow case with sandwiches in glad bags or teh night table that was used as the hamper. Well, not much has changed.
He said "Mommy, I like my room the way it is .. It can't be clean all the time and I can find stuff". Standing with my hand on my hips I calmly stated "but all of your clothes on on the floor. How can you tell what is clean or dirty? Plus most of this stuff looks like it hasn't been washed at all". He said "that's cause you are not me - I promise when I move out I'll clean my room".
I thought about what he said for a long time. He is RIGHT. Why am I trying to make him clean his room.... ACCEPT IT. Most kids at this age are simple sloppy pigs. As long as he is ok with it, and it doesn't create bugs or rodents in my house, Accept it. I have vowed that I will enter his room only on a "need to" bases and he promises to keep his mess in his room only. The minute I see or think I see a bug or creature of ANY KIND the exterminators will be called and he has to keep the room the way I SAY.
Acceptance
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