Two weeks ago, during the Welcome Back-To-School Night, the parents were told that the sophmore class was planning to have a Mardi Gras Ball in November. I thought how exciting this was going to be - but then - Man-child doesn't like to dance. So, I wasn't going to get my hopes up too high.
The next day, he said that he thought about it and he wanted to go. "OH BOY" I shouted internally. I asked him if he thought about a costume. He said he was going to ask his DATE. I froze. Who said anything about a date. He looked at me and said "I know you think I shouldn't take a date but Ma, I'll be 15 soon and it's just a dance in the school cafeteria". In my head, I am saying "And you are still too young to date - I don't care if it is in the cafeteria". I could feel my heart beating and my pressure going up. Man-child said "Ma, it's not a big deal. Nobody will probably want to go with me anyway". Well, what is that supposed to mean "As handsome as you are, they should be asking you". Then I realized, I need to get a grip on things. BREATH...and BREATH again.
I asked him his date's name. Her name is Olympus. So, I made a trip to the school on my day off to check this girl out. I did not tell him that I was coming to the school because he would have died. After taking with the principal and his advisor, I decided to leave and just come up with another way to meet her. As the students began to change classes, I saw Man-child walking with two girls and another boy. Man-child just gave me that head nod thing and said "Hey Ma" and I just waved. As they walked away, one of the girls turned and said "Hi, My name is Karen and this is Olympus". I smiled and said "Hello". Both girls giggled and walked away. They were very attractive. Olympus was about my height with short hair and Karen was tall with blond streaks in her hair. Man-child continued to ignore me and went to class. The principal laughed and said "Your son is maturing very nicely and the kids in his class really look up to him". WOW.... two revelations in one day. I think I can Breath a little until the next adventure.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Mother-Son Dance
On Saturday, October 2, 2010, the Urban Leadership Institute along with the Raising Him Alone Organization sponsored their first Mother-Son Dance. I was soooo excited and I told everybody about the event. I did not tell Man-child until a few days before the event. I thought "why tell him and he starts whinning about not attending. I went out looking for something that we could wear. I knew I could not dress us in the same outfit but I thought maybe something similar colors- but then, I thought "if i walk in that house with matching anything, he is not going to go".
To get ready for the dance, I tried to teach Man-child how to hand dance (you know like in the R. Kelly Stepping video). Well, Man-child has NO RHYTHM. A gene he inherited from his father. Next, I moved on to line dances - I figured everybody could do those. NOPE. Man-child definately has two left feet. At this point, I figured we would just go and have a great time.
When we arrived I got nervous. Man-child wanted to know what was on the menu. As we entered the ballroom, all we saw were boys under the age of 10 dancing with their mothers. Now I was worried. I looked at Man-child and said "ok we'll only stay for a little while". He just gave me that look. As we walked around, we found a table with two boys that were his age (Boy, I let out a big breath).
The ball started with the first dance to Boy II Men's song Momma. All of the mothers and sons was smiling. Some mothers were surrounded by two or more boys. You could feel the love and joy in the room. A few mothers cried. It was amazing. After lunch, chicken, wild rice and mixed veggies, the fun began. There was a dance contest for both the mothers and son. A 63 year old grandmother won the dance contest (she really put the younger mother's to shame) and her prized was a day spa gift package. They had a raffle for the boys - two autographed footballs from Baltimore Raven Ray Lewis.
Iyanla Vanzant was the guest speaker but due to an emergency, she could not make it. Instead, a sportcaster for the New York Jets, Brian (I can't remember his last name)talked of his upbring by a single mom and grandmother. He encouraged the boys to hold their heads up high no matter what they decide to do. He also told them to "Spread the word across the nation because they are part of a great generation". It was very moving.
After all of the speeches, it was time to dance and have fun. Man-child held my hand while I hand dance all around him. We laughed at his attempt to do the Cha-cha slide and Cupid Shuffle. Man-child could not do the electric slide - SAD -LOL. We had so much fun and I can't wait till next year. The only disappointment was a mistake that I made - I forgot to put the batteries in the camera - DUH!!! Even though I don't have pictures to share, the events of the day have been engraved in my heart forever.
To get ready for the dance, I tried to teach Man-child how to hand dance (you know like in the R. Kelly Stepping video). Well, Man-child has NO RHYTHM. A gene he inherited from his father. Next, I moved on to line dances - I figured everybody could do those. NOPE. Man-child definately has two left feet. At this point, I figured we would just go and have a great time.
When we arrived I got nervous. Man-child wanted to know what was on the menu. As we entered the ballroom, all we saw were boys under the age of 10 dancing with their mothers. Now I was worried. I looked at Man-child and said "ok we'll only stay for a little while". He just gave me that look. As we walked around, we found a table with two boys that were his age (Boy, I let out a big breath).
The ball started with the first dance to Boy II Men's song Momma. All of the mothers and sons was smiling. Some mothers were surrounded by two or more boys. You could feel the love and joy in the room. A few mothers cried. It was amazing. After lunch, chicken, wild rice and mixed veggies, the fun began. There was a dance contest for both the mothers and son. A 63 year old grandmother won the dance contest (she really put the younger mother's to shame) and her prized was a day spa gift package. They had a raffle for the boys - two autographed footballs from Baltimore Raven Ray Lewis.
Iyanla Vanzant was the guest speaker but due to an emergency, she could not make it. Instead, a sportcaster for the New York Jets, Brian (I can't remember his last name)talked of his upbring by a single mom and grandmother. He encouraged the boys to hold their heads up high no matter what they decide to do. He also told them to "Spread the word across the nation because they are part of a great generation". It was very moving.
After all of the speeches, it was time to dance and have fun. Man-child held my hand while I hand dance all around him. We laughed at his attempt to do the Cha-cha slide and Cupid Shuffle. Man-child could not do the electric slide - SAD -LOL. We had so much fun and I can't wait till next year. The only disappointment was a mistake that I made - I forgot to put the batteries in the camera - DUH!!! Even though I don't have pictures to share, the events of the day have been engraved in my heart forever.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
The Conversation and the Demonstration
Something Man-child and I never do is watch television together. I watch a couple reality shows, Turner Classics, plenty of reruns, and a few others. Man-child watches cartoon and anime specials.
A commerical comes on advertising bras. Man-child yells "Yuck - I hate these commericals". I tell him "it's no different than a swim suit". So he asks "why do they show that woman stuff on TV anyway".
Ok... I am looking at him like he is crazy. "What are you talking about?" He sits up and says "Mom, they put those tampon and other stuff like that on tv - I don't want to see it". Now I am really looking at him. "What's the big deal - they show all types of Commerials on tv - to keep people informed, choices in products, to get people to buy/sell stuff". Anyway, we go back and forth and getting no where.
Then, a condom commerical comes on. He gets quiet. Hmmmm... I ask him "do you know how to put on a condom?" He says "Who said I was having sex?" Hmmmmm.... He did not answer the question. I asked him again. He said "since I am not having sex, I don't need to know how to put it on". Wrong answer. I told him to get me a banana from the kitchen. When I got up, I went to my stash in the closet (prayed that they were still in good condition). When he came back, I took the banana (we did not have a cucumber) and started to show him how to roll it on. His face frowned up. "MA... That's nasty - why do you have Condoms - and How come you know how to use them!! "Boy please - would you rather learn from me or wrong from your friend and someone gets pregnant". He did not say anything. He just watched me (and the banana was not a good model) but he got the point.
He left the room and I just laughed. I never answered his questions either. Think he got the point :-)
A commerical comes on advertising bras. Man-child yells "Yuck - I hate these commericals". I tell him "it's no different than a swim suit". So he asks "why do they show that woman stuff on TV anyway".
Ok... I am looking at him like he is crazy. "What are you talking about?" He sits up and says "Mom, they put those tampon and other stuff like that on tv - I don't want to see it". Now I am really looking at him. "What's the big deal - they show all types of Commerials on tv - to keep people informed, choices in products, to get people to buy/sell stuff". Anyway, we go back and forth and getting no where.
Then, a condom commerical comes on. He gets quiet. Hmmmm... I ask him "do you know how to put on a condom?" He says "Who said I was having sex?" Hmmmmm.... He did not answer the question. I asked him again. He said "since I am not having sex, I don't need to know how to put it on". Wrong answer. I told him to get me a banana from the kitchen. When I got up, I went to my stash in the closet (prayed that they were still in good condition). When he came back, I took the banana (we did not have a cucumber) and started to show him how to roll it on. His face frowned up. "MA... That's nasty - why do you have Condoms - and How come you know how to use them!! "Boy please - would you rather learn from me or wrong from your friend and someone gets pregnant". He did not say anything. He just watched me (and the banana was not a good model) but he got the point.
He left the room and I just laughed. I never answered his questions either. Think he got the point :-)
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Back To School 2010-2011
Getting ready for school is always a challenge - school supplies, uniforms, shoes and hair cuts. Man-child, like all kids, was not excited or interested. The first day of school could have been considered a sit-com.
Man-child woke up at 6 am. He walked around the house like he never seen it before. After his shower, he turned on the computer and started checking email and his game stuff. I said nothing until 7:30 am - that's when the show began and I found my seat at the dining room table.
7:35 am - Ma, do you know where my uniform shirts are? You put them in your room
7:38 am - Ma, have you seen my hair brush? NO
7:42 am - Ma, do we have any extra tooth brush? What happen? I put mine on the bed and Rosa chewed it. (Rosa is our Mini-Doberman) Look in the closet
7:45 am - Ma, have you seen my belt? No, Geoff
7:46 am - Ma, I can't find my back pack! It was in your room
7:49 am - Ma, what time do I have to be at school this week? 8:30 Geoff
7:51 am - Ma, I burned my eggs can you make me something to eat? Never mind, I call the sub shop and order a sandwich.
7:55 am - Ma, do you know where my cell phone is? No
Never mind, I found it... OMG I forgot to charge it - can you pull it in while I finish getting dressed. Ok
8:02 am - Bye Ma, I am leaving
WHEW.... I was exhausted and all I did was sit at the table and watch. I only prayed the he got to school on time. It didn't matter that I spent week reminding him to get his things together. I didn't matter that I put things where he could find them but he rearranged them. I just hope that the rest of the school year gets better
Man-child woke up at 6 am. He walked around the house like he never seen it before. After his shower, he turned on the computer and started checking email and his game stuff. I said nothing until 7:30 am - that's when the show began and I found my seat at the dining room table.
7:35 am - Ma, do you know where my uniform shirts are? You put them in your room
7:38 am - Ma, have you seen my hair brush? NO
7:42 am - Ma, do we have any extra tooth brush? What happen? I put mine on the bed and Rosa chewed it. (Rosa is our Mini-Doberman) Look in the closet
7:45 am - Ma, have you seen my belt? No, Geoff
7:46 am - Ma, I can't find my back pack! It was in your room
7:49 am - Ma, what time do I have to be at school this week? 8:30 Geoff
7:51 am - Ma, I burned my eggs can you make me something to eat? Never mind, I call the sub shop and order a sandwich.
7:55 am - Ma, do you know where my cell phone is? No
Never mind, I found it... OMG I forgot to charge it - can you pull it in while I finish getting dressed. Ok
8:02 am - Bye Ma, I am leaving
WHEW.... I was exhausted and all I did was sit at the table and watch. I only prayed the he got to school on time. It didn't matter that I spent week reminding him to get his things together. I didn't matter that I put things where he could find them but he rearranged them. I just hope that the rest of the school year gets better
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Discipline
A few weeks ago, I was chatting on-line with some of my Sistah friends. Someone asked "How is Man-child?" Since school is going to open soon, I have been making him get up in the morning. One morning, he jumped in my face and asked "why I gotta keep getting up?" My response "Cause I said so". Before he could respond, I grabbed his woody and told him to act like he had some sense.
When I told this to my Sistah Friends, several of them got very upset and offended by my actions. A few thought it was creative. Hmmmmm..... Someone even thought it was cruel. Hmmmmmmm.... I listen (rather I read) to their comments before I decided to respond. Grabbing Man-child is not something that I do on a regular bases. I reacted and out of instinct, grabbed him where it would hurt to get his attention. Man-child is now 5'7" and still growing. I am 5'3". When he thinks he can stick his chest out and deepen his voice as a means to intimidate me, I react. I AM NOT THE ONE.
Finding ways to discipline a teen-age boy is NOT easy. Time -out is not an option and taking away his toys (gadgets) no longer work. (Athough, he did cry when I took away his laptop for week) My actions that day were to get his attention -By ANY MEANS NECESSARY. When his house work is not done, No one gets any sleep until it is done - we were up until 1 am until he cleaned the bathroom. Whether I do that again - Hmmmmmm - probably not. But, now he knows I am not afraid to go there to make my point. After all, as his Mother, I reserve the right to hit, smack, grab, laugh at, touch, hug and kiss him when ever I feel the need to do so. ( And I kiss him alot in front of his friends -LOL-is that considered cruel too)
So, if you have any suggestions for other forms of discipline, PLEASE let me know.
When I told this to my Sistah Friends, several of them got very upset and offended by my actions. A few thought it was creative. Hmmmmm..... Someone even thought it was cruel. Hmmmmmmm.... I listen (rather I read) to their comments before I decided to respond. Grabbing Man-child is not something that I do on a regular bases. I reacted and out of instinct, grabbed him where it would hurt to get his attention. Man-child is now 5'7" and still growing. I am 5'3". When he thinks he can stick his chest out and deepen his voice as a means to intimidate me, I react. I AM NOT THE ONE.
Finding ways to discipline a teen-age boy is NOT easy. Time -out is not an option and taking away his toys (gadgets) no longer work. (Athough, he did cry when I took away his laptop for week) My actions that day were to get his attention -By ANY MEANS NECESSARY. When his house work is not done, No one gets any sleep until it is done - we were up until 1 am until he cleaned the bathroom. Whether I do that again - Hmmmmmm - probably not. But, now he knows I am not afraid to go there to make my point. After all, as his Mother, I reserve the right to hit, smack, grab, laugh at, touch, hug and kiss him when ever I feel the need to do so. ( And I kiss him alot in front of his friends -LOL-is that considered cruel too)
So, if you have any suggestions for other forms of discipline, PLEASE let me know.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
My Revelation Pt 2
As the summer begins to wind down and everyone begins to prepare for back-to-school, I also begin to think of all the things Man-child and I did this summer. First, we were-strike that-I was excited about his summer job. Man-child thought the idea of working was insane. After his first week, he said it was ok. One point for me.
Second, I got a call from his school. He was selected to participate in an honors program that was being sponsored thru Johns Hopkins University. I thougt he would scream. Man-child just said "Ok". At the end of the program, he said it was Ok. Two points for me
Next, his mentoring group went to Atlanta. They toured Morehouse College, CNN and the Coca Cola company. Man-child refused to go but I put him on the bus. He liked it. He really liked Morehouse and when he came home, he started looking at colleges on the internet. Wow!! Three points for me.
Then, I went to NY for the Harlem Book Festival. He did not want to hang out with me and my "book club friends". Again, I put him on the bus. He really enjoyed himself. He liked Sonya Sanchez (he thought she was a rapper), Wes Moore and the graphic artist and authors. Another point for me.
My revelation - WHAT IN THE HECK WAS I WORRIED ABOUT? Raising my son has been difficult for me (I know - raising any child is difficult). Man-child and I do not have any thing in common and finding things to occupy his time is stressful. Despite his complaining and whining, he always manage to learn something or likes it. So, as I sit here watching him fold his laundry (he hasn't washed in two weeks and he has been walking around my house in his boxers- I've had enough, I realize that it has been a pretty good summer. Now, preparing for 10th grade - Ugggggg... get ready!!
Second, I got a call from his school. He was selected to participate in an honors program that was being sponsored thru Johns Hopkins University. I thougt he would scream. Man-child just said "Ok". At the end of the program, he said it was Ok. Two points for me
Next, his mentoring group went to Atlanta. They toured Morehouse College, CNN and the Coca Cola company. Man-child refused to go but I put him on the bus. He liked it. He really liked Morehouse and when he came home, he started looking at colleges on the internet. Wow!! Three points for me.
Then, I went to NY for the Harlem Book Festival. He did not want to hang out with me and my "book club friends". Again, I put him on the bus. He really enjoyed himself. He liked Sonya Sanchez (he thought she was a rapper), Wes Moore and the graphic artist and authors. Another point for me.
My revelation - WHAT IN THE HECK WAS I WORRIED ABOUT? Raising my son has been difficult for me (I know - raising any child is difficult). Man-child and I do not have any thing in common and finding things to occupy his time is stressful. Despite his complaining and whining, he always manage to learn something or likes it. So, as I sit here watching him fold his laundry (he hasn't washed in two weeks and he has been walking around my house in his boxers- I've had enough, I realize that it has been a pretty good summer. Now, preparing for 10th grade - Ugggggg... get ready!!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
My Revelation
I was sooo excited about Man-child's summer job. He was hired to work with B. Green Caterers, a division of Martin's West. He was not excited. The first day of work, I decided to drive him. He jumped out of the car and he was off to work. As always, I was nervous all day. True to form, he made it home - said it was a'ight and nothing more.
Two days later, I received a call from his principal. Man-child scored relatively high on the city's standardized test and he was selected to participate in an Honors Program through Johns Hopkins University. WHAT!!! My mouth dropped. Of course he is going to participate. Then, I thought - DAYUMMM - I just gave him that speech on following through and not quitting. You know the one "it's important to finish what you start" and "once you commit to something, keep your word". I also wanted him to learn the value of earning money and the value of money. This was a difficult decision but no matter what, I knew I wanted him in that program. I asked my Sistah Friends and they all agreed - send him to Hopkins.
I was prepared to take him to dinner to discuss it but he decided to buy dinner on his way home from work. (That is sooo my son) After I told him about the program, he just said "Ok". "Ok What" I responded. He just said I'll go. NO argument, no question - nothing. An hour later, I asked him again if he was really ok with going to school. Man-child said "The job is ok but I know you really want me to be in this program and you are probably going to make me do it anyway. Besides, it maight be ok". WAS THAT MY CHILD.
I thought about it for a few days and I just had to let it go. Then my Sistah Friend, Edwina said "Girl, I think he is growing up". WOW... my Man-child is really growing up.
Two days later, I received a call from his principal. Man-child scored relatively high on the city's standardized test and he was selected to participate in an Honors Program through Johns Hopkins University. WHAT!!! My mouth dropped. Of course he is going to participate. Then, I thought - DAYUMMM - I just gave him that speech on following through and not quitting. You know the one "it's important to finish what you start" and "once you commit to something, keep your word". I also wanted him to learn the value of earning money and the value of money. This was a difficult decision but no matter what, I knew I wanted him in that program. I asked my Sistah Friends and they all agreed - send him to Hopkins.
I was prepared to take him to dinner to discuss it but he decided to buy dinner on his way home from work. (That is sooo my son) After I told him about the program, he just said "Ok". "Ok What" I responded. He just said I'll go. NO argument, no question - nothing. An hour later, I asked him again if he was really ok with going to school. Man-child said "The job is ok but I know you really want me to be in this program and you are probably going to make me do it anyway. Besides, it maight be ok". WAS THAT MY CHILD.
I thought about it for a few days and I just had to let it go. Then my Sistah Friend, Edwina said "Girl, I think he is growing up". WOW... my Man-child is really growing up.
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