Sunday, August 22, 2010

Discipline

A few weeks ago, I was chatting on-line with some of my Sistah friends. Someone asked "How is Man-child?" Since school is going to open soon, I have been making him get up in the morning. One morning, he jumped in my face and asked "why I gotta keep getting up?" My response "Cause I said so". Before he could respond, I grabbed his woody and told him to act like he had some sense.

When I told this to my Sistah Friends, several of them got very upset and offended by my actions. A few thought it was creative. Hmmmmm..... Someone even thought it was cruel. Hmmmmmmm.... I listen (rather I read) to their comments before I decided to respond. Grabbing Man-child is not something that I do on a regular bases. I reacted and out of instinct, grabbed him where it would hurt to get his attention. Man-child is now 5'7" and still growing. I am 5'3". When he thinks he can stick his chest out and deepen his voice as a means to intimidate me, I react. I AM NOT THE ONE.

Finding ways to discipline a teen-age boy is NOT easy. Time -out is not an option and taking away his toys (gadgets) no longer work. (Athough, he did cry when I took away his laptop for week) My actions that day were to get his attention -By ANY MEANS NECESSARY. When his house work is not done, No one gets any sleep until it is done - we were up until 1 am until he cleaned the bathroom. Whether I do that again - Hmmmmmm - probably not. But, now he knows I am not afraid to go there to make my point. After all, as his Mother, I reserve the right to hit, smack, grab, laugh at, touch, hug and kiss him when ever I feel the need to do so. ( And I kiss him alot in front of his friends -LOL-is that considered cruel too)

So, if you have any suggestions for other forms of discipline, PLEASE let me know.

14 comments:

  1. Priscilla, once again I enjoy reading your blogs! As for people getting offended my grabbing Manchilds' "como se llama's" LOL! You're not going to please everyone all the time, right? So don't sweat it and who's helping you to raise him?
    Alrighty then, enough said!

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  2. Baby Sis, I lmao all over again when I read the entry. Then when I could talk, I called my son and asked if he had a suggestion for you. He said all you have to do now is make a move towards the jewels and he'll come to his senses. Well, anywho, I think he'll always remember who's the boss. So hopefully, talking to him gets the job done.

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  3. Well put Ro! Cuzo I think you are doing a fine job of raising Manchild and everyone else. You find creative ways to give you the results you need. Many of your stories are funny and I enjoy reading them especially since we have kids the same age. I can't say I would try any of the above methods on mine but "Hey!" to each it's own. Love you and I can't wait until they are old enough so I can re-tell these stories.

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  4. I can not tell you how many former teen aged boys I know of who got to “smelling themselves,” as my grandmother’s generation used to say, stepped up to their fathers’ the wrong way and were punched smack dab in their chest and laid out. I know many will think that sounds horrible, and I’m not condoning abusing the kids. But it is what it is.

    Cilla, my dear friend. You did a female version of knocking man-CHILD back in his place in the pecking order. You are the Alpha of the household and as he gets older and more testosterone runs through his veins, he will naturally fight for his own territory. Eventually he’ll have his own, but until then, you keep doing your do and follow your instincts. You’re doing a fantastic job with him.

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  5. Cilla, I can't judge you. I don't have any children, never birthed any. But I never heard of a mother doing that to get a young man's attention. My oldest sister had 9 children and her boys also grew taller than her, even than their father. If they got out of line, she would smack them up side the head and dare them to come at her, fists balled up ready to fight.

    I was never able to watch that.

    Like I said, it's your choice and I can't judge. So sorry you had to resort to that kind of punishment.

    Did you explain to man-child why you did that, give him an opportunity to respond? I believe you'd learn more from his remarks than your actions. What I'm asking is in his mind, did it work? I think both of you will feel better about the incident if this is done. Kinda like clearing the air.

    You're single mother raising a tween boy in today's world. It ain't easy, I know.

    You pray, I know. Pray for strength and wisdom.

    I wish you the best.

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  6. 'Cilla...I'm still chuckling...but one thing I've learned alone the way when it comes to parenting it's between parents, child and God. Everyone can say what you shoulda, woulda, coulda done...but until someone walks in your shoes I don't think anyone has the right or audacity to tell you how you should parent your child. Now that said...my advice...is to take it to God...seek his direction and guidance and maybe keep others out of your parenting affairs...besides none of us have PhDs in parenting nor did we receive a manual on how to parent...so what makes what we say any better than what you know? No two kids are alike...so how can I tell you how to rear your child who I've never met or spent time with? Now sis what I can do is intercede, touch and agree and pray with you that God will perfect those things which concerneth you and Man-Child...He said he would never leave your forsake you...have faith that he will help you to parent Man-Child also.
    xoxo

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  7. Frankly I think your doing an outstanding job with man-child and grabbing his woody is MILD compared to what I'd do to his butt...LOL

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  8. I'm cosigning on with Ro and Yasmin....and Linda. A woman's gotta do what she needs to do. You are always going to get comments about what you should do and what another person would not do. Cilla, you are doing your best and you are doing a good job. Stay strong and stay prayerful.

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  9. Ok...Once I stopped laughing, I have to say I agree, all you have to do moving forward is make a move like your gonna grab...Nuff said...


    IMO...ditto to Dera's statement start to finish. As Yas said, until someone walks in your shoes.....

    On a side note I am filing this under things that may work on a husband too...LOL

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  10. Cilla,

    I appreciate your posts, because I have two boys and I know they will way bigger than me. I'm always learning knew ways to keep them in check.

    Never thought about grabbing the jewels, but I do believe it will get the attention. Sometimes that might be the only thing you can grab.

    Being a parent is hard work, you learn something everyday. Some things work, some things don't. Thanks for sharing your experience.

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  11. *flatline*

    This was hilarious. I don't have any advice to give but damn if this isn't funny! LOL. I bet you he will think twice before ever trying that again. And true, he may have felt violated BUT...didn't you feel violated when he overstepped?

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  12. WOOOOOWWWWWWW! I think I woulda been like YUCK! LOL! I don't wanna know what any of my male relatives feel like in my hands! HAAA! As everyone has said, A Mom's gotta DO what A Mom's gotta DO! Sending U both prayers & Hugz!

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  13. Cilla!! This was perfect! Funny, creative, and *thanks for the tip*...lol

    What you did was fine, IMO. If you would have knocked the hell out of him, someone would have said you were wrong then...

    You know what you want Man-Child to learn/understand...keep teaching him those lesson, Sis! And yes, by any means necessary!

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