Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Knock On The Door

Three weeks ago, my brother, his wife and five kids knocked on my door. Still dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, his plant closing, unemployment, and so much more, he decided to pack up his family and move back home. I can’t imagine how difficult that decision was for him but he had an obligation to provide the best care for his family.

When they arrived, I immediately called family. Instead of support, I heard, “How rude. They should have called first”, “ I hope you are not trying to be a Savior”, “ How the Heck does he expect to get help here”, “ You should have sent them to a shelter”, and a lot more. I got the same response from friends that I’ve considered family also. Hmmmm…. I thought, is this what institution of the family has become? I got angry and I thought would these same people do the same to me if I need help.

Let me say this… I am not a Martyr. I do what I do because I want to. I recognize that in order to survive you must have the support of your family. Throughout history, particularly for African Americans, families have always taken care of each other. So, why should I change? I recognize that I am a caregiver and a nurturer. Even with all of the negative comments, I am still the one everyone calls. I am the one that remembers every birthday, anniversary, death, birth, graduation, special achievement, wedding, or thinking of you. Then it hit me…. “Trust in the LORD with ALL your HEART and Lean not on your own understanding”. Proverbs 3:5 I do what’s in my heart and I never question my actions or the actions of those that are in need.

My brother’s obligation is to provide the best care for his family. His decision brought him back to Baltimore where he thought he could get support. Am I obligated to help? No. Yet, I know that with my trust in the CREATOR, All is Well. If my obligation makes me seem gullible, naive or taken advantage of, I would say, “that’s okay”. I have to do what is in my heart and spirit. So knock on my door. Anytime.


  1. Just know that you did the right thing!! The ones with the negative comments, there may come a day when they have a need to knock on someone's door. Let's see if they take it upon themselves to seek out a shelter first. Your brother is blessed to have you has his sister.


  2. You are truly a giver and wouldn't have it any other way. Your reward is in heaven. We just never know; there by the grace of God go I....

  3. Hi Sis:

    It's wonderful to know that there are brothers out there with a sense of obligation to take care of their matter what.

    You'll be blessed!!

    Much love,

  4. A good reminder to all of us what being family really means. A good life lesson for man-child. Your next blog should be about his reaction.

  5. Your brother is very lucky to have you for a sister. Everything will work itself out :)

  6. Sis you did the right thing! People never understand until they're in that situation. Keep being you and I love your heart and spirit.

  7. “Trust in the LORD with ALL your HEART and Lean not on your own understanding”. Proverbs 3:5

    You go gurl and you know what...I would do the same thing. It's called 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'

  8. You did the correct thing - it is what family is about!

    Your brother and family is blessed to have you.

  9. THANKS EVERYONE for the support, encouragement and LOVE :-)


  10. Cilla, you are a beautiful sister. Just imagine how far we would be as a people if more of us had your heart and attitude. God bless you and keep doing as the Lord leads you.


  11. Cilla; you are the kind of sister that I strive to be.

    You did good, girl! As the old folks would say.

    God bless you, manchild and your brother and his family.


  12. RheaAlexis@yahoo.comMarch 9, 2009 at 5:19 PM

    I continue to have you all in my prayers. You are blessed and your family is greatly blessed to have you in it.

    Rhea Alexis

  13. Cuzo! I know your heart is always in the right place and we also know our family. Sometimes the words that come out are often a reaction. We all know your hear but, sometimes we just want the best for you. No matter what people say it is what's in the heart that matters. I appreciate you remembering my birthday, anniversary, and anything about my family. I Love you and always remember my door is open anytime for you and/or Man-Child. ;o)