Friday, March 20, 2009

Man-Child And His Sibblings (Cousins)

It's been a month since my brother and his family moved into my home. Let me tell ya, it has been an ADVENTURE. Getting the kids used to a different routines, new eating habits, new rules and so much more has been a challenge. Despite it all, we are managing.

One thing I never considered or thought about was the impact this change would have on Man-child. My brother has three sons, Khalil 12, Demarion 9, and Ja'Varea 5, that are younger than Man-child and they WORSHIP the ground he walks on. The first week, it was fun. Man-child helped with homework, getting them ready for bed, doing housework and getting to know each other. They follow Man-child every where and even began wearing their clothes like Man-child. Well, somewhere between that second and third week, things began to change. I noticed Man-child yelling at the boys all the time.

Finally, Man-child said, "I am sick and tired of them. Get them out of here". What happened?, I asked. "They are everywhere, they won't even let me go to the bathroom; they are in my sutff and they keep taking stuff out of my room"!! he yelled. " I don't want them in my room any more and they can't sleep in my room either, as a matter of fact I don't even want to see them".

Oh Boy... I reminded him that I knew it was difficult but we are all cramped and uncomfortable. I told him that the boys look up to him and he just has to be patient. I told him to stop being selfish and share with his cousins. This is what it's like having brothers and sisters. Awww Man.. it hit me again.... Growing up, I was the oldest and the only girl, I NEVER had to share or compromise anything with anyone. My room and things were OFF LIMITS. When my cousins visited, I always let them know what they could touch or were allowed to play with (basically everything - but I had to tell them first). I never shared a room, my clothes - NOTHING. When my aunt died, a couple of my cousins, male cousins, came to live with us for a while - again, my stuff was off limits.

I had to rethink this again and make new rules. Ok. The boys can come in his room only if Man-child lets them and they have to respect his space. They also have to let Man-child invite them to stay in his room. Have things gotten better? There is less yelling and they boys are not clinging to Man-child every move. But I am still on him about sharing, being considerate and accepting of others. I also reminded him that the world does not revolve around him and one day he could find himself in the same place.

I'll keep you posted of our progress :-)


  1. Great life lessons...and while it's been challenging...Man-child is maturing as a result of it. Please keep us posted.

  2. Thanx 4 this peek into your world, Sistah 'Cilla. That's definitely got to be a shock to his system. The 3 of them are used to having other kids around, but Man-Child? whew! Sending hugz & prayers ALWAYZ;-)

  3. "Cilla this is definitely a big change for Man-Child. It's not easy having to give up some of his space. Don't be too hard on him, but keep doing what you've been doing. Prays and hugs.

  4. This will make Man-child stronger but Keep up your good work and example.

  5. I can imagine how this must be challenging to him. I love that you stepped back, reviewed the situation and helped him to adjust better.

    I hope the situation gets better for your brother soon. This economy has really taken a toll on the lives we all live.

  6. You handled it well; I believe there are always blessings to be found in challenges. Manchild is maturing and becoming a mentor himself.

  7. Yasmin, Dee, JC.. looks like I am learning as much with Man-child.

    LadySilver.. I was shocked at how I thought he should just go along with the flow and not be affected by the changes.

    Niambi...Challenges.. for everyone,never looked at it like that.

    Thanks again everyone !! "-)

  8. I feel for you and man-child. I understand his frustration :) He is an only child and used to having things a certain way. Now that you created some boundaries hopefully things will get better. Keep you head up.

  9. I feel for Manchild...this was an "interruption of everything" moment for him -- one of life's curve balls...glad you're helping him control his reactions to it. Here's hoping that "this too shall pass....SOON!"

  10. I am so late...but great way to handle up...u will all come out of this as better people...I promise...