Friday, March 20, 2009

Man-Child And His Sibblings (Cousins)

It's been a month since my brother and his family moved into my home. Let me tell ya, it has been an ADVENTURE. Getting the kids used to a different routines, new eating habits, new rules and so much more has been a challenge. Despite it all, we are managing.

One thing I never considered or thought about was the impact this change would have on Man-child. My brother has three sons, Khalil 12, Demarion 9, and Ja'Varea 5, that are younger than Man-child and they WORSHIP the ground he walks on. The first week, it was fun. Man-child helped with homework, getting them ready for bed, doing housework and getting to know each other. They follow Man-child every where and even began wearing their clothes like Man-child. Well, somewhere between that second and third week, things began to change. I noticed Man-child yelling at the boys all the time.

Finally, Man-child said, "I am sick and tired of them. Get them out of here". What happened?, I asked. "They are everywhere, they won't even let me go to the bathroom; they are in my sutff and they keep taking stuff out of my room"!! he yelled. " I don't want them in my room any more and they can't sleep in my room either, as a matter of fact I don't even want to see them".

Oh Boy... I reminded him that I knew it was difficult but we are all cramped and uncomfortable. I told him that the boys look up to him and he just has to be patient. I told him to stop being selfish and share with his cousins. This is what it's like having brothers and sisters. Awww Man.. it hit me again.... Growing up, I was the oldest and the only girl, I NEVER had to share or compromise anything with anyone. My room and things were OFF LIMITS. When my cousins visited, I always let them know what they could touch or were allowed to play with (basically everything - but I had to tell them first). I never shared a room, my clothes - NOTHING. When my aunt died, a couple of my cousins, male cousins, came to live with us for a while - again, my stuff was off limits.

I had to rethink this again and make new rules. Ok. The boys can come in his room only if Man-child lets them and they have to respect his space. They also have to let Man-child invite them to stay in his room. Have things gotten better? There is less yelling and they boys are not clinging to Man-child every move. But I am still on him about sharing, being considerate and accepting of others. I also reminded him that the world does not revolve around him and one day he could find himself in the same place.

I'll keep you posted of our progress :-)

10 comments:

  1. Great life lessons...and while it's been challenging...Man-child is maturing as a result of it. Please keep us posted.

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  2. Thanx 4 this peek into your world, Sistah 'Cilla. That's definitely got to be a shock to his system. The 3 of them are used to having other kids around, but Man-Child? whew! Sending hugz & prayers ALWAYZ;-)

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  3. "Cilla this is definitely a big change for Man-Child. It's not easy having to give up some of his space. Don't be too hard on him, but keep doing what you've been doing. Prays and hugs.

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  4. This will make Man-child stronger but Keep up your good work and example.

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  5. I can imagine how this must be challenging to him. I love that you stepped back, reviewed the situation and helped him to adjust better.

    I hope the situation gets better for your brother soon. This economy has really taken a toll on the lives we all live.

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  6. You handled it well; I believe there are always blessings to be found in challenges. Manchild is maturing and becoming a mentor himself.

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  7. Yasmin, Dee, JC.. looks like I am learning as much with Man-child.

    LadySilver.. I was shocked at how I thought he should just go along with the flow and not be affected by the changes.

    Niambi...Challenges.. for everyone,never looked at it like that.

    Thanks again everyone !! "-)

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  8. I feel for you and man-child. I understand his frustration :) He is an only child and used to having things a certain way. Now that you created some boundaries hopefully things will get better. Keep you head up.

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  9. I feel for Manchild...this was an "interruption of everything" moment for him -- one of life's curve balls...glad you're helping him control his reactions to it. Here's hoping that "this too shall pass....SOON!"

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  10. I am so late...but great way to handle up...u will all come out of this as better people...I promise...

    angelia

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